text | UN: A$HMON3Y

[moneyballer]

ay yo ladieeeeez 😜 hay hay hAY hayyyyyy ✋✋✋ if any of u girly gals need a STUDMUFFIN ✔️✔️✔️✔️ 2 help sell the whole baws asssz upper class B I A T C H than g thang thaaaaang 💁 dis boi got an 🍑 dat won't quit and a lotta lurve ❤️❤️❤️ 4 his new teamies so holla atcho homie if u need a little man 🍭 hangin around while u strut ur stuff

*and PS NO 🐵 bidness, i'm taken, ok? yee thnk u

skeet skeet

Comments

[digiorno]

[There you go, buddy.]

I was completely joking. You're the picture of youth. Try not to be so self-conscious or make me think about your skin ever again, please.

[moneyballer]

[sticks tongue out bcuz mentally he has yet 2 pass the fifth grade]

[digiorno]

[extremely vulgar gesture of neapolitan origin. then double pistols and a wink.]

[moneyballer]

[he's mildly offended by this, so he crinkles his nose]

Aren't you, like, twelve?

[Thinks harder.]

No, wait. Fifteen.

[this is his actual guess]

[digiorno]

I'm seventeen.

[you FUCKER]

[moneyballer]

You don't look seventeen.

[He's clarifying, though, because it isn't meant to be derrogatory-]

Chill! That's a good thing. It means when you get older, you'll look half your age.

[cue an overly exaggerated hand gesture]

You'll be young foreeeevs, lil g.

[digiorno]

It's true. I'm an ageless scientific marvel.

[Might actually be true? We just don't know.]

What the hell is "lil g".

[moneyballer]

[A laugh.]

A nickname.

[The rest is said after a breath, because he's explaining as politely as possible-]

Lil' 'cause you're small but mighty, and G, 'cause well-

[His arms open wide.]

Your name starts with a G.

[digiorno]

. . . That's.

Kind of cute? [weird.............] I will accept it.

video bloop;

[moneyballer]

[just this face!!!! on the other end, now video]

STILL VOICE

[digiorno]

You're so weird.

not here

[pummelling]

[but kim asher youre doing amazing sweetie]

[moneyballer]

[Here, he cups both sides of his face with his hands]

But that's what makes me wuv-able.

[don't do the dumb baby voice]

[digiorno]

Oh my god.

No?

[moneyballer]

You don't got me fooled, home skillet biiiiiiiz.

[Biscuit.

He clicks his tongue, pointing emphatically into the camera with a quick wink.]

Look at the way you dress, homie! There's no way a dude like you'd cozy up to a buncha regular ol' nerds.