text | UN: A$HMON3Y

[moneyballer]

ay yo ladieeeeez 😜 hay hay hAY hayyyyyy ✋✋✋ if any of u girly gals need a STUDMUFFIN ✔️✔️✔️✔️ 2 help sell the whole baws asssz upper class B I A T C H than g thang thaaaaang 💁 dis boi got an 🍑 dat won't quit and a lotta lurve ❤️❤️❤️ 4 his new teamies so holla atcho homie if u need a little man 🍭 hangin around while u strut ur stuff

*and PS NO 🐵 bidness, i'm taken, ok? yee thnk u

skeet skeet

Comments

text | un: wtfwhocares

[sadgay]

where's the eject button on this friendship

[moneyballer]

lolz i think u mean *LIKE button c-dawggy-dawg

[Truthfully, though, he's just really happy that Connor publicly admitted to being his friend.]

text; un: lodge

[refashioned]

Please PLEASE tell me you're an old man trying to masquerade as a teenage boy to catfish someone.

PLEASE.

un: harmonia

[digiorno]

He is.

[moneyballer]

no?

( not here )

[tolight]

( asher what the fuck )

[moneyballer]

[lucinda remember u chose this friendship]

un: harmonia

[digiorno]

You do realize that's the opposite of how this place works, right.

[moneyballer]

huh????

??

Video | un: sieglindesullivan

[grunehexe]

It is like some sort of hieroglyphic...

video;

[moneyballer]

[Asher has to squint at that.]

I mean... Now that ya mention it, same diff I guess.

[A casual shrug, a kanye shrug if u will]

A lot more fun though.

text; un: white_lotus

[pummelling]

this isn't how you make a good impression with the new team, ash

[digiorno]

Jin, it's your contractual obligation to take him up on this offer.

text | un: lucina nvm hi

[tolight]

Asher?

Is this a new language?

[refashioned]

Oh, Lucina. I don't think you want to take lessons on emoji from him.

text | un: falcon

[forcevisions]

what language is this and how did you keep it from translating?

[moneyballer]

oh!!!!

[Oddly good-naturedly...]

it's pictures, so i guess it doesn't rly have 2 translate

text; un: hemlock

[unholey]

A translation, for anyone who doesn't want to navigate Millstone's slang and weird use of emojis:

"Hello ladies of Hathaway. If any of you would like someone to pose as a manservant to help lend credibility to their nobility disguises, I've got a nice ass and want to look out for my new teammates. Please contact me if you need someone to hang off of your arm while you strut your stuff."

As for you: man, while I'm glad you picked a different username could you seriously not think of anything better than this one???

[moneyballer]

i just wanted 2 help

@bortz; text

[abortz]

What.

[It's a shame they prefer the text options, because the bewildered, irritated face they're making right now is pretty amazing.]

ASDLKFJ THIS IS SO STUPID I LAUGHED

[moneyballer]

hello!!!! 😃

[sent as if he's done... nothing wrong]

un: shelby

[soldiersminute]

Any takers?

[His guess is no. Even without Fugo's helpful translation, he can't think of a single woman who would look at this and respond well.]

1/?

[moneyballer]

not yet but it ain't over til the fat lady sings

un: 2b

[undeserved]

Please be more professional when you use this network.

[ she's gonna get a headache ]

[moneyballer]

um excuse me 2BITCHY

[i'm sorry he's so stupid]

u don't make da rulez

text | un: altea

[juniberries]

What is this?

[moneyballer]

an offer u can't refuse ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[As awful as that sounds, it's a Godfather reference. If said aloud, it would be uttered in a shitty Italian accent.]

text; un: wellsuited

[ofobedience]

This is the most obnoxious thing I've ever seen. What, exactly, are you trying to convey?

i did not mean for this callout 2 b so rude

[moneyballer]

this is the most obnoxious thing u've ever read and you go around sportin a bowl cut like it isn't annoying A-F????

text | un: vaughn

[moneyman]

Not a girl, but I gotta say, that was pure poetry. You should write a book.

[ this might read as sarcasm, but sadly, it's not. he would read it. ]

[moneyballer]

[Sarcasm is unfortunately what he reads it as.]

don't b a h8er

@z

[hackedhistory]

[what ... even ... is ... ???? Sadly, Zari is from a post-twitter society, so she's not even sure that's English.]

Is your magitek working properly?

[moneyballer]

pffffff y e a h

[wait, maybe something else is going on here-]

is urs?

i mean

dis mad DELISHUSHNESS is totez real lol

[don't call urself delicious there is a series called Tokyo Ghoul...]

text; un: alucard

[reposing]

I regret to inform you that it appears that my device cannot translate your language. My sincerest apologies.

Though perhaps it is a message not meant for everyone. It is concerning our fair ladies?

[moneyballer]

i can't tell if ur shittin me or just an old farty

video, un: ZARYA

[flexing]

You are offering [ squint... ] Man candy?

i'm gonna jump out of the window of my apartment

[moneyballer]

[He takes one look at Zarya, just one look-]

Oh.

Oh, you-

[Cue one too many shakes of the head.]

Probably wouldn't be too interested in that.