text; un: shitpost king

[hedonistic]

sup nerds
sorry to interrupt everyone's doom and gloom party over here, but with the whole zombie apocalypse thing going down outside, there's about 90% less shit to actually do and i'm super fucking bored, so

let's play never have i ever

which, if ur one of the stone age people, goes like this:
u post something u have never done
other people reply
threadjacking is encouraged
if u ever did the thing u gotta post urself taking a sip of booze of ur choice
(or u can just go honor system i guess if u want, i'm not the boss of u)

if ur like a tiny baby or are a lame person who doesn't drink u can have water or soda instead
the challenge for u is to avoid peeing as long as possible

so i'll start us off

never have i ever....had an urge to chomp on human flesh (◡‿◡✿)





(no i'm kidding. i'm kidding, that's not the real one. u can put down ur torches and pitchforks lmao)



ok here's the real real one: never have i ever been on a roller coaster

Comments

text; user name: anonymous

[skelepun]

never have i ever used a coaster, how's that.

[hedonistic]

oh my god did u just think at me in comic sans
that's amazing

[that plus your username...Kagari can only admire such devotion to not giving a single fuck. here, have a drinking selfie for ur trouble.]

[skelepun]

[He's nothing if not staunchly devoted to caring very little.]

chalk it up to being on brand. glad I could help ya lift your spirits.

[hedonistic]

10/10 a++
okok heck
i feel like i'm automatically out-trolled on principle rn but let's do this

never have i ever pretended to be anonymous

[He can't, in point of fact. It's a Long Story of dystopian awfulness, Sans, best not to look too deeply.]

html...!!

[skelepun]

well that's just cheating.

the only thing i've got around me that's drinkable is white out. seems kinda ineffective for blacking out. [Ba dum chh] guess i gotta course correct.

[Willing his ring to shift the interface to video. Uncloaked and in full skeletal glory, Sans offers a quick and lazy wave.]

There, how about a little transparency. You can see right through me.

[A literal statement, considering.]

ah, that fickle beast, i know it only too well

[hedonistic]

[You know, he was going to make a comment about how drinking white out seems like it would do more than that, but then...here comes the video.

And Kagari staring, of course.]

Holy shit. Is that your real body?

[He sounds absolutely delighted]

[skelepun]

[Humans, man. The delight was fun, and Sans seemed genuinely amused by it. He learned a long time ago to appreciate a good, over the top reaction. In his experience, it was a far better alternative to dead eyed boredom.]

Pretty sure, yeah. [He says, looking down at himself in mock investigation.] How 'bout yours?

[hedonistic]

[At that, Kagari laughs.]

Okay, I deserved that one. But look, where I'm from that would just be a holo-cosplay.

[There are thus far only a few things he likes about being part of ALASTAIR, and all his nerdy fiction coming to life is definitely one of them.]

[skelepun]

Don't got any monsters where you're from? [He asks, voice lazy but amused in a distracted sort of way.] That's too bad, we're pretty fun at parties.

Where's home for you, pal?

[hedonistic]

Oh, that part's debatable.

[What's that? A deliberate play on words? Someone's stealing your shtick here, Sans.]

I'm from a place called Japan. [A shrug] Don't know if I'd exactly call it home, though.

[skelepun]

[Grinding his game and playing the monster card? Goddamn, son. He finds himself caught between laughter and offense. As always, he goes with laughter.

The mention of Japan sparks his interest a little more eagerly, however.]

Haha, for real? [Sans is perhaps a little amused by that fact.] You're the guys with all the... princesses, right?

[It's been a while since he last snuck a peak at Alphys' vast manga collection.]

[hedonistic]

[It takes a minute for what Sans is saying to click in his head, but when it does -- good lord, he starts laughing too, a bit like a man possessed. Fuck, he really needed that.]

Oh my god, dude. I would not have pegged you as a shoujo guy.

[He's talking to a literal skeleton that reads shoujo manga. This is the best day of his entire life.]

[skelepun]

Don't judge a book by its cover, my friend. [He shrugs, owning the title, whether it's accurate or not. There were worse things to be.] I love a good coming of age story as much as anybody. Might not have a heart, but that don't mean I don't have a heart, capiche?

Lemme guess, you're a swords n' robots kinda guy.

[hedonistic]

I'm more of a "bigass explosions" guy, but I'll watch-slash-read-slash-play just about anything once, even if it's garbage.

[He totally watched the Twilight series just for shits and giggles.]

[skelepun]

A completionist, huh? I'll be sure to watch my back. [Sans' grin is alight with his own private joke. One he doesn't explain, of course.] How long've you been here, pal? No offense meant, but you don't seem to fit the ALASTAIR jib.

[Drinking games weren't exactly thrilling heroics, after all.]

i just figured out the joke omfg

[hedonistic]

[That first remark has him raising one ginger eyebrow, but he doesn't comment.]

About two months? Ish? [A small smirk] And none taken.

[He doesn't fit in. These people aren't like him, they're naive and idealistic and frustratingly convinced of their own righteousness.]

How 'bout you, you into the greater good, Anon?

[Despite the fact that you apparently read shoujo, he's noticed the distinct lack of lectures so far, mister.]

winks aggressively

[skelepun]

Depends on what the good is. [It's the sincere truth, even if it's dressed up as a nonanswer.] I dunno where messing around with time fits in with that. Seems pretty dangerous if you ask me.

Not that I'm the expert.

blows a kiss

[hedonistic]

Gosh, you almost sound like you're questioning our great and noble cause. I heard that's pretty bad for team morale, y'know.

[Welcome to ALASTAIR, Sans, have some salt on the house.]

[skelepun]

[How generous. Sarcasm isn't very funny, guy, but you're alright.]

I'm not one to break ranks if I don't have to. Way too much effort.

... I'd go as far as to say never have i ever lifted a finger against anyone.

[He winks, but doesn't drink anything.

Because he's a liar.]

[hedonistic]

[There's a lot of people on this team he'd believe that from, honestly. His first impression of Sans? Isn't of one of them. But then, didn't Sans say it himself? Don't judge a book by its cover.

Of course, there's various ways to interpret just what that cover is, too.]

That so, huh. [Bottom's up, then.] Hmmmm.

Never have I ever ... winked without eyelids.

[and a decidedly eyelid-ful wink follows. seriously tho, how tf are u doin that, sans]

[skelepun]

Well now you're just cheating, pal. [Still, Sans shrugs, chugging some white out. Worst it would do is drip on the floor.] If that's how we're gonna play the game, never have I ever had a zit.

[hedonistic]

All's far in love, war, and Never Have I Ever.

[says the guy who's accused two different people of cheating in this very post

also, this is clearly a fast-track to drunktown, but Kagari's having a good time, so he doesn't particularly care. A nice, hearty sip is taken.]

Never have I ever had self-propelling bones.

[skelepun]

Self-propelling? [Sans snorts, fingers drumming against the white out but not drinking (yet).] You make me sound like a helicopter.

Never have I ever compared strangers to helicopters.

[hedonistic]

Oh my god. Tendons! I'm talking about tendons. Never have I ever deliberately misunderstood--

[He stops, laughs at himself.]

....Nope, nah. I can't even finish that one.

[skelepun]

[The laughter is joined by Sans, grinning broader as he clinks his... well, white out bottle.]

I think I'll save us both some time and call this one a draw.