text; un: shitpost king

[hedonistic]

sup nerds
sorry to interrupt everyone's doom and gloom party over here, but with the whole zombie apocalypse thing going down outside, there's about 90% less shit to actually do and i'm super fucking bored, so

let's play never have i ever

which, if ur one of the stone age people, goes like this:
u post something u have never done
other people reply
threadjacking is encouraged
if u ever did the thing u gotta post urself taking a sip of booze of ur choice
(or u can just go honor system i guess if u want, i'm not the boss of u)

if ur like a tiny baby or are a lame person who doesn't drink u can have water or soda instead
the challenge for u is to avoid peeing as long as possible

so i'll start us off

never have i ever....had an urge to chomp on human flesh (◡‿◡✿)





(no i'm kidding. i'm kidding, that's not the real one. u can put down ur torches and pitchforks lmao)



ok here's the real real one: never have i ever been on a roller coaster

Comments

blows a kiss

[hedonistic]

Gosh, you almost sound like you're questioning our great and noble cause. I heard that's pretty bad for team morale, y'know.

[Welcome to ALASTAIR, Sans, have some salt on the house.]

[skelepun]

[How generous. Sarcasm isn't very funny, guy, but you're alright.]

I'm not one to break ranks if I don't have to. Way too much effort.

... I'd go as far as to say never have i ever lifted a finger against anyone.

[He winks, but doesn't drink anything.

Because he's a liar.]

[hedonistic]

[There's a lot of people on this team he'd believe that from, honestly. His first impression of Sans? Isn't of one of them. But then, didn't Sans say it himself? Don't judge a book by its cover.

Of course, there's various ways to interpret just what that cover is, too.]

That so, huh. [Bottom's up, then.] Hmmmm.

Never have I ever ... winked without eyelids.

[and a decidedly eyelid-ful wink follows. seriously tho, how tf are u doin that, sans]

[skelepun]

Well now you're just cheating, pal. [Still, Sans shrugs, chugging some white out. Worst it would do is drip on the floor.] If that's how we're gonna play the game, never have I ever had a zit.

[hedonistic]

All's far in love, war, and Never Have I Ever.

[says the guy who's accused two different people of cheating in this very post

also, this is clearly a fast-track to drunktown, but Kagari's having a good time, so he doesn't particularly care. A nice, hearty sip is taken.]

Never have I ever had self-propelling bones.

[skelepun]

Self-propelling? [Sans snorts, fingers drumming against the white out but not drinking (yet).] You make me sound like a helicopter.

Never have I ever compared strangers to helicopters.

[hedonistic]

Oh my god. Tendons! I'm talking about tendons. Never have I ever deliberately misunderstood--

[He stops, laughs at himself.]

....Nope, nah. I can't even finish that one.

[skelepun]

[The laughter is joined by Sans, grinning broader as he clinks his... well, white out bottle.]

I think I'll save us both some time and call this one a draw.

[hedonistic]

Ah, fine, fiiine. It's more fun to get drunk together, anyway.

[Presumably, if white out isn't toxic to a skeleton, it probably doesn't get them inebriated in any fashion, either. Though, that brings up a question--]

Can you get drunk, even?

[skelepun]

Cutting right to the bone with that one, pal. [Of course, he's not particularly offended.] Sure I can. Can you?

[hedonistic]

Shit, really? How does that work?

[shh he did not just answer a question with a question, pay no heed to the man behind the curtain]

[skelepun]

Look, pal, I'm gonna preempt this line of questioning. I could give you the whole in depth biological spiel, but let's save ourselves both a lot of time and sore jaws.

[Sans snaps his fingers together and conjuring a small clavicle. It floats in midair, giving off a strange blue glow before disappearing entirely.]

I'm a magic skeleton man, capiche? It just works.

[hedonistic]

[If it was possible for a person to sparkle by sheer will of excitement, that's probably what would be happening right now. He watches the glowing clavicle appear out of thin air with all the wonder of a child literally meeting Santa Claus, never taking his eyes off of it until it disappears.

...At which point he sort of deflates.]

Awww dude, come on. How often does a guy get to nerd out about a magic skeleton man? These are like, once-in-a-lifetime deets here.

[skelepun]

[From the magitek screen, Sans shrugs. He looks real broken up about it, honest.]

Whose lifetime, yours?

[Still, vague amusement aside, Sans' intentional vagueness softens slightly.]

Buy me a real drink sometimes and maybe you'll get more outta me. [Beat.] No promises, though.

[hedonistic]

[He pouts slightly at that. Are u makin fun of him now skelebro :C]

You're on. [A little huff.] Could you do that bone thing again, at least? That was cool.

[skelepun]

[Probably. But in a fun way, honest.]

Heh... alright, kid. [And there it is. A single clavicle, quickly joined by a few more. Eventually, it's clear they're spelling something out.

Not as neatly or as uniform as his brother, but nobody was quite as good at this as Papyrus.]

OK?

[hedonistic]

[Hey he's a Full Grown Adult tyvm!!!! (only technically, kagari, only technically)

The bones join together into a word, and hey, that's one he actually knows in English! Have some thrilled clapping, Sans.]

That's awesome! What else can you do?

[skelepun]

Whatever happened to the whole drink thing?

[He waves the bones away, and they disappear like they were nothing.]

Keep asking me to do tricks and I'll run through my repertoire in about five seconds.

[hedonistic]

[aw....bye bones .....]

Hey man, you're the one who called for a draw.

[skelepun]

Yeah, 'cuz I'm drinkin' office supplies over here. [Wink.] Future-tense, buddy. Future drink. Oska's gotta have a bar, right?

[Please, lord.]

[hedonistic]

No bar, but they do have a magic kitchen you can summon alcohol from. It's pretty sweet.

[skelepun]

... Huh. [Sans voice is somehow both impressed and disappointed.] Far be it from me to argue convenience, but I'll miss the crappy stools and dirty glasses.

[And the standing excuse to leave rooms he didn't want to be in.]

Bartenders, too. Who's better to spill your guts to, amiright? [Wink.]

[hedonistic]

[Kagari's never had the distinct pleasure of chatting up a bartender while drunk, but the reasons for it would rob the conversation of its light and breezy tone, and that's not what he's here for right now. So instead, a joke:]

Other drunk people? Less likely to remember your shame.

[skelepun]

They're decent too, I suppose. Easy to beat at cards, anyway.

[Sans' mouth doesn't open, but brings a hand to his mouth anyway, making an impressive facsimile of a yawn.]

'Sides, there's nothing shameful about drowning your problems, what're ya talking about. That's just practical.

[hedonistic]

No, no, that's not the shameful part. That's the rest of what you do while you're drunk, like try to meow the alphabet or see what happens if you try to microwave tin foil.

[He offers a theatrical shrug]

A bartender, now he's gonna be sober for shit like that.