text, @TARANTO

[heavyhitter]

ok guys listen i got something i've been thinking about, no one's been able to answer it for me yet
check it out: deer dildos
???
do they use them? it doesn't have to be dildos anything sexy in general, that counts. i'm not buying there's any sentient sexually reproducing species out there that hasn't invented sex toys, so what do deer use. does it have to do with antlers?? i haven't put much thought into deer sex so i'm not working on much here, just tossing out ideas. lemme know, thanks



oh wait one more thing, i really wanna get off this island. i've seen everything and it's boring. these guys suck at technology right? and swimming. oh my god they're so pathetically useless

but WE are way better at both those things! so here's my proposal: we team up and use our evolved smarts and build a floating litter, or popemobile, or something, and get me over to the next island. good, right?? i think we can do it! we got science grandpa AND nerd granduncle running around here, and probably half a dozen other nerds i haven't dug up yet. we can do this. i believe in us. if there's any parties going on on the other islands, let's get me to them.

Comments

I hate you; text; un: coolskeleton95

[boneafide]

WHAT'S A DILDO??

i accept that

[heavyhitter]

something for people with skin
ask undyne

[boneafide]

OH OKAY.

ANYWAY, I WANT TO GO TO THE OTHER ISLANDS TOO! THEY SEEM TOO FAR AWAY TO THROW SOMEONE, SO I AGREE IN THINKING WE'LL NEED TO RIDE SOMETHING OVER. IF ONLY THE RIVERPERSON WAS HERE, THEY HAVE THE BEST DOGBOAT...

OH, I KNOW! LET'S MAKE OUR OWN DOGBOAT!

[heavyhitter]

yeah sure dogboat popemobile whatever it's gonna take, the sooner we get on that shit the sooner i get to party

[boneafide]

I TOO LOVE TO PARTY SO THIS WILL WORK IN BOTH OUR FAVOR!!

OKAY, STEP ONE! WE GET A BOAT. TWO, WE RIDE THE BOAT! WOW, THIS SOUNDS REALLY EASY WHEN I SAY IT IN TWO STEPS, DOESN'T IT???

I WONDER IF ANYONE HERE CAN BUILD A BOAT.

[heavyhitter]

ok i hate being the reasonable one here but you can't take a boat over the rapids or the nalawi would've done that already
ugh god i can't believe you made me say that

[boneafide]

WELL YOU DEFINITELY CAN'T WITH THAT ATTITUDE.

I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO TAKE SOMETHING THAT FLIES. DIDN'T HAPPYBIRTHDAY SAY THEY HAD A PLANE?? OH NO WAIT, IT WAS THAT THEY WANT A PLANE.

IF ONLY WE KNEW SOMEONE WHO HAD A JETPACK.

[He does know someone like that though.]

[heavyhitter]

or a science grandpa

[boneafide]

EVEN A SCIENCE DAD WOULD WORK AT THIS POINT!!

TOO BAD WE DON'T HAVE ANY OF THOSE.

[heavyhitter]

come on a science grandpa is worth like two science dads and that's what we DO have, we're set

[boneafide]

WE DO?? WHO IS IT???

[heavyhitter]

i'd say but i was sworn to a vow of secrecy

[boneafide]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!

[heavyhitter]

and betray someone's trust??? papyrus i didn't know you could be so mean

[boneafide]

OH NO... YOU'RE RIGHT!! I WAS ASKING YOU TO BREACH SOMEONE'S TRUST...

NEVERMIND!! YOUR PROMISE IS VERY IMPORTANT TO WHOEVER IT IS!!

[heavyhitter]

yeah that's right, thanks for understanding my tenuous position with mr mystery science grandpa

[boneafide]

IS HE GOING TO HELP YOU LEAVE THE ISLAND IF YOU KEEP HIS NAME A SECRET?

[heavyhitter]

eh he'd probably help either way honestly
it's the principle of the thing

[boneafide]

WELL, TELL ME WHAT KIND OF COOL THINGS THEY HAVE OVER THERE WHEN YOU GET THERE!! I'D LOVE TO GO MYSELF, BUT IF I DON'T EVEN KNOW MYSTERY SCIENCE GRANDPA, I DON'T THINK I'LL BE ABLE TO CONVINCE HIM TO LET ME GO OVER THERE TOO.

[heavyhitter]

but you DO know koltira right

1/3

[boneafide]

OF COURSE!

[boneafide]

...OH, I GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING NOW!!

[boneafide]

HE'S THE SCIENCE GRANDPA!!!!

[heavyhitter]

no
what?
no!

oh my god

[boneafide]

IT'S OKAY. IT'S OUR SECRET. I KNOW YOU COULDN'T HAVE POSSIBLY PREDICTED I WOULD FIGURE THIS OUT SO QUICKLY!! I WON'T TELL ANYONE.

[ AUDIBLE WINKING IS HAPPENING SOMEHOW. ]