VIDEO; UN: HAWKEYE

[strictdiscipline]

[Instead of any person, the scene presently on the screen is of a backpack lying in the snow, overflowing with child leashes in a variety of different colors and patterns. The voice that pipes up has about as much warmth as the chill tundra wind and is just loud enough to cut through the continued wailing of infant squidges nearby.]

It appears that some of our superiors question our ability to properly watch over these small creatures.

[Though if the delivery was sent in earnest rather than as a practical joke, she can't say she disagrees with the assessment, at least not with regards to a certain subsection of Team Audentes. (Fortune might favor the bold, but it certainly won't favor anyone lacking basic common sense as far as she's concerned.)

Regardless, she presses on.]

While I should hope that none of you will need one at the moment [judging u if you put a leash on ur infant squidge tbh] some of you may find them necessary at a later point in this mission. There seem to be enough for each recruit to have one.

[Unfortunately.

A brief pause follows, enough time for a resigned sigh.]

With that said, if you are concerned about caring for a living being, I'm sure there are several of us willing to provide advice.

(ooc: i bought a bunch of child leashes as an ac reward as i was completely out of ideas, feel free to handwave your character grabbed one.)

Comments

[ VOICE; ] UN: FruitsParfaitSamurai

[naturallywavy]

Yadda, yadda, yadda. Geeze. Give it a rest, Riza-san.
_{[ a lazy, slurring voice is heard out of Riza's jewelry. ]}

You're trying to make us all look bad again, ah, aren't you?
_{[ honestly. You're a tough girl and you've got motherly instincts? Well, that's what Gintoki thinks, anyway. That's what he thinks this is all about. ]}

voice

[strictdiscipline]

You all seem to be perfectly capable of managing such a feat even without my interference.

[Please, feel free to disagree.]

[naturallywavy]

_{[ there's a chuff of laughter, mainly from amusement. Wow, Riza. This rudeness.
He.. cannot argue with that, though. ]}

... Yeah. Guess I'll take one of those.
_{[ SO HE JUST GOES WITH IT. ]}

[strictdiscipline]

[Look, she's had a long day. Also, Gintoki probably deserves it. There's an open look of disapproval on her face but she did step up to the plate to offer these...]

Do you know how to use one properly?

[If he's really gonna be using one, he better at least do it the right way.]

[naturallywavy]

I own a dog.
Isn't it the came concept?

_{[ ah... ]}

[strictdiscipline]

[Ah.........]

Children aren't dogs.

[naturallywavy]

You're right.
They're monsters.

_{[ a beat. ]}

You sure this thing is gonna hold'em? What about a cage?
_{[ HORRIBLE. HE'S HORRIBLE. but he's not being serious, he really isn't. ]}

[strictdiscipline]

[Don't be so deadpan about this.]

If it anyone needs a cage, it's you.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ THIS RUDENESS. ]}

Tell me one reason we I would deserve such a punishment. _{[ I dunno, Gin. Maybe just what you joked about— putting kids in cages would deserve something like that. ]}

I'm an "S"— I don't do being in cages.

[strictdiscipline]

An "S".... [ give her a moment ] I assume that stands for "slacker"?

[She doesn't really mean it, but since they're here...]

[naturallywavy]

_{[ ... he really can't argue with that, not too much, at least. He'd say: give me one instance in which I was slacking, but he knows she would catch him with an instance, definitely. So, he just feels the need to correct her. For some reason, he believes this is important information for Riza to know. ]}

Sadist, actually. Super sadist, if you needed specifics.

[strictdiscipline]

[That's really not any better than "slacker". Worse, actually, if she's entirely honest. Her eyes narrow.]

I hope you're joking.

[naturallywavy]

Ah. Do I look like I'm joking..?
_{[ GENUINELY CURIOUS.
Then, he idly gestures at his jewelry. ]}

Have you ever dealt with kids before?
_{[ also.... very curious about this too. ]}

[strictdiscipline]

[He always looks like he's joking. Or rather, he doesn't seem to have any real expression at all half the time so it's hard to tell if he is joking or not.]

Most of my associates in the military behave like children. [That's probably not the answer he's looking for though.] But no, there's not much place in the military for small children, and I have no younger siblings.

[Hopefully that's enough of an answer.]

[naturallywavy]

That's a shame.
_{[ Gintoki adores kids. It's kind of a secret, though, that he only lets a few people know about. ]}

Two kids found me back home.
They just kind of forced themselves into my life.
_{[ His words sound fond, even if he uses a negative word like force. ]}

[strictdiscipline]

[ She pauses, thoughtful, before: ]

I never realized you enjoyed parenting that much.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ not so fast there, Riza. ]}

You kidding?
They're noisy, they take my money, they're needy, they clog the toilet.
There's a lot of disadvantages.
_{[ but the advantages outweigh the bad, definitely. ]}

[strictdiscipline]

[She just Looks at him.]

There are many advantages too, or so I've heard.

[Mostly from Hughes though, and lord knows that man is off his rocker when it comes to his daughter.]

[naturallywavy]

_{[ A pause, but then he replies: ]}

There are more disadvantages than advantages, but..—
The advantages are very much rewarding.. and make it all worth it.
<sub>[ there you go there's his confession, alright. ]

[ It's because of them he feels like he has a reason to keep going. ]</sub>

Those who experience them both should take them as a gift and not for granted.
Maybe one day you will be fortunate enough to let it happen to you.
_{[ you know.. have a lil baby, Riza.
Or be in his situation and just have them find you and stay in your life. ]}

[strictdiscipline]

[das cute Gintoki

But unfortunately, sweet as the sentiment is - and it's surprisingly sweet, a memory she'll keep with her for a long while - the thought of settling down and raising a family fills her with unease.

It's a dream she's lost any privilege to, many years ago. She manages a smile, but it's distant.]

I'll probably be in the military for life. [A echo of Roy's words to her.] There's not much room for children there.

1.2

[naturallywavy]

I was in the military once.

_{[ He didn't want to be in it for life, but Shinpachi and Kagura were definitely some things in his life he didn't plan. ]}

But I figured, that path wasn't the one my feet were supposed to walk.

2.2

[naturallywavy]

Who knows, maybe the same will happen to you.

[strictdiscipline]

[It's a nice thought, but ultimately one she dismisses. Her gaze lowers towards the ground as her smile fades again.]

I appreciate your sentiments, but I doubt that'll ever happen.

[naturallywavy]

Why not?
You seem like the type of pretty and tough girl all the guys would be about... especially if they want a little terminator for a kid.
_{[ look.. he can be really sweet sometimes. Riza is just catching him at a good time. ]}

[strictdiscipline]

[A little terminator for a kid......thanks, Gintoki.

The words are surprisingly kind, enough to get another faint smile out of her (though one colored by sadness). Her own future isn't one she's discussed with many people, privacy having long been a core foundation of her personality, but opening up is easier the more months that pass.]

It's a personal choice. There are some wrongs I need to correct first. I suspect that course of doing so will take the rest of my life.