ana ramÃr | TARANTO (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
heavyhitter) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
futurology2016-11-10 01:31 pm
heavyhitter) wrote in futurology2016-11-10 01:31 pm
Entry tags:
- achilles (iliad),
- ana ramir (original),
- elias ainsworth (tamb),
- fiona (borderlands),
- giovanni (dogs: bullets & carnage),
- graham humbert (once upon a time),
- jesper fahey (grishaverse),
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- takashi shirogane (voltron),
- youichi hiruma (eyeshield 21)
text, @TARANTO, day after the saloon fire
hey guys guess what: blankets!!! me and TF to the fucking rescue, we rustled up like 40 of these bad boys
super cozy, some nice patterns. one of them has a robot wolf on it
it was also all entirely legal
they're ALMOST free, all you gotta do is tell me a story then come get one (i'm by those spiky ass fat plants that bleed if you knock them over)
also since i have 40 and there's more than 40 of us, i guess also pick someone to get cozy with
super cozy, some nice patterns. one of them has a robot wolf on it
it was also all entirely legal
they're ALMOST free, all you gotta do is tell me a story then come get one (i'm by those spiky ass fat plants that bleed if you knock them over)
also since i have 40 and there's more than 40 of us, i guess also pick someone to get cozy with
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alright gimme your best shot
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hey got any heists? those are ALWAYS good
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I think I got just the story you're looking for...
Ever heard of the Defenders of the Universe?*
[ *based on true events ]
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1/2
The year's 2023, and Earth's finally begun to expand its space travel. Ships, suits, the whole shebang — we're ready, and we're stoked. Little did we know, civilizations from all around the universe were already doing what we were just about to do, for millions of years before us, and better. Now this would've been all fine and dandy if they were like the kindly old neighbors you meet in some suburban area, you know, the old ladies with the cookies, the grandmas and grandpas that just wanna make sure you've eaten enough, are you sure, you're skin and bones!
But they weren't. At least not the ones that finally get to Earth. These guys? These guys are bad news. Seriously &mdsah; they're conquer-the-far-corners-of-the-universe-and-make-everyone-our-slaves bad news. They're the kinda neighbors that make you seriously consider moving, except we're humans, and we're stuck on Earth, so there's nothing we can really do about it.
But that's where our heroes come in!
[ he holds up five fingers. ]
Five unlikely teens*. You got Leo — ace pilot, popular with the ladies, hella good sense of style and humoar! Definitely the undisputed leader of the group hands down.
Then there's Hector — sharp as a whip but built like a tank. He's the guy you want on your side at all times, and he's the the guy who's never gonna leave your side no matter what.
Next is Pip — scrappy, sassy, and pretty much a bonafide genius. A little scary, but usually in the way that's definitely beneficial to the team.
Then we got Shawn — cool, collected, and definitely level-headed. He's the one you look to when things start breaking apart all around you, and he's the one making sure you're all back on track.
...And then there's Ken, I guess, who's just kind of sort of there. And he's got dumb hair.
[ *and one adult, depending on your sources. ]
2/3 jk
But good things don't just happen to good people that easily. Our heroes had to look for each leopard, all before the evil alien empire gets their hands on them, because SURPRISE SURPRISE they want the weapon too!
As luck would have it, one of the leopards was actually on Earth this entire time, and Leo — our main character, ace pilot, popular with the ladies, super cool super good guy — was the one to find her. They formed a bond instantly, and he was flying that leopard around like it was no big thang before any of the others even realized what was going on.
Turns out? This leopard had a home, and it knew just how to get there. One wormhole trip later — not unlike the rifts ala ALASTAIR — and our heroes find themselves aboard another alien planet, but this one belongs to the other good guys, the ones who've been trying to fight the evil alien empire this entire time! They'd been asleep, but thanks to a very saucy kiss from our hero, Leo — did I mention the ladies love him? — the alien princess wakes up! Because of true love! Thanks to her and her advisor, she's able to tell our heroes all about the universe's plight... and thanks to their swanky alien technology, our heroes now have the means of getting all the other leopards! One of them is already there, in the princess' castle, and another two are on planets that were not too far from where they currently were...
but the last one?
[ pause for dramatic effect ]
It's on the Skullra's main battleship.
[ dun dUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]
3/3
To be continued.
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what
to be continued when
[ you're not just gonna leave it there are you?? ]
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fine, two, keep going
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So our heroes now have the harrowing task of retrieving this last leopard. Without it, they won't be able to combine all five into the mighty Soultron, Defender of the Universe! But how's a bunch of kids supposed to take on a ship full of enemy soldiers, who've apparently been doing this whole fighting-conquering thing for thousands and thousdands of years??
WITH GUTS, THAT'S HOW!
So our mighty hero Leo decides to launch a full-frontal attack! Go in when they least expect ya, and hit 'em with everything you've got! Of course, with only three leopards, there isn't too much they could do...
I mean except blast a hole into the ship and sneak in like ninja space pirates!!
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people notice that kinda thing
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It was a really big ship.
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so they boarded some idiots
got it, keep going
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Apparently, being an evil conquering alien race for thousands of years drops your guard a little.
Anyway, Leo and the gang make their way through the ship, taking down enemies as they come but they're your standard henchmen fare, nothing too fancy. Ken finally proves useful for once and manages to find the last leopard, miraculously get her to bond with him, and once he's in and piloting, the rest of us skedaddle on out.
Of course by then our villains have figured out the pilots of Soultron are armed and in charge, so they stage an all out attack on them! Imagine — four space robot leopards taking on an enemy battleship the size of several football stadiums, and packed with loads of soldiers and weaponry that are almost as dangerous as actual sports fans!
Things weren't looking good for our heroes... most of them (except Leo, of course) were barely hanging on as it was! Lasers were shooting all over the place, leopards were flying around space like some kind of weird circus show, but now that all four leopards were together, our last pilot, Shawn, was finally able to get to the last and final leopard which means....!!!!
[ ... ]
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[ she caught that "us" ]
who's the group in this thing?
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—say what now.
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were you there?
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alright
so you got all your cats, keep going
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[ he's sort of lost his footing now, though, and she can probably tell he's not entirely sure how to get it back. ]
What's the likelihood here I'll get three blankets?
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NOT HERE.
GOOD JOB LANCE ]
NOT HERE.