text, @TARANTO, day after the saloon fire

[heavyhitter]

hey guys guess what: blankets!!! me and TF to the fucking rescue, we rustled up like 40 of these bad boys
super cozy, some nice patterns. one of them has a robot wolf on it
it was also all entirely legal

they're ALMOST free, all you gotta do is tell me a story then come get one (i'm by those spiky ass fat plants that bleed if you knock them over)

also since i have 40 and there's more than 40 of us, i guess also pick someone to get cozy with

Comments

[competing]

[ SCORE. ]

So our heroes now have the harrowing task of retrieving this last leopard. Without it, they won't be able to combine all five into the mighty Soultron, Defender of the Universe! But how's a bunch of kids supposed to take on a ship full of enemy soldiers, who've apparently been doing this whole fighting-conquering thing for thousands and thousdands of years??

WITH GUTS, THAT'S HOW!

So our mighty hero Leo decides to launch a full-frontal attack! Go in when they least expect ya, and hit 'em with everything you've got! Of course, with only three leopards, there isn't too much they could do...

I mean except blast a hole into the ship and sneak in like ninja space pirates!!

[heavyhitter]

hang on how are you gonna sneak in a fucking hole blasted in a ship
people notice that kinda thing

[competing]

It was a really big ship.

[heavyhitter]

uh huh
so they boarded some idiots
got it, keep going

[competing]

The mark of a true hero is learning how to use your enemy's weaknesses against you, and our mighty space heroes did just that, okay!

Apparently, being an evil conquering alien race for thousands of years drops your guard a little.

Anyway, Leo and the gang make their way through the ship, taking down enemies as they come but they're your standard henchmen fare, nothing too fancy. Ken finally proves useful for once and manages to find the last leopard, miraculously get her to bond with him, and once he's in and piloting, the rest of us skedaddle on out.

Of course by then our villains have figured out the pilots of Soultron are armed and in charge, so they stage an all out attack on them! Imagine — four space robot leopards taking on an enemy battleship the size of several football stadiums, and packed with loads of soldiers and weaponry that are almost as dangerous as actual sports fans!

Things weren't looking good for our heroes... most of them (except Leo, of course) were barely hanging on as it was! Lasers were shooting all over the place, leopards were flying around space like some kind of weird circus show, but now that all four leopards were together, our last pilot, Shawn, was finally able to get to the last and final leopard which means....!!!!

[ ... ]

[heavyhitter]

wait whoa hold up

[ she caught that "us" ]

who's the group in this thing?

[competing]

[ no no nono no you were supposed to get caught up and wonder what that last trump card of theirs was...! ]

—say what now.

[heavyhitter]

i mean
were you there?

[competing]

I'm... currently not at liberty to reveal my sources.

[heavyhitter]

uh huh
alright

so you got all your cats, keep going

[competing]

Uh. Right.

[ he's sort of lost his footing now, though, and she can probably tell he's not entirely sure how to get it back. ]

What's the likelihood here I'll get three blankets?

[heavyhitter]

oh my god zero % at this rate, you can't end on a cliffhanger!

[competing]

The lack of cliffhanger is dependent on the third blanket!

[heavyhitter]

hell no, i'm still trying to get the worth of blanket #2 out of you!

[competing]

What do you mean? I just described at least five episodes' worth for you!

[ whoa, meta ]

[heavyhitter]

well then your pacing fucking sucks!

[competing]

[ wow language ]

I wasn't sure I'd be given an an entire season, okay!

[heavyhitter]

sounds like a whole lotta not my problem doesn't it

[competing]

[ grumble grumble ] Whatever, I'll just take the two blankets then.

[heavyhitter]

fine whatever
stop by whenever, all yours. JUST two

[competing]

Fiine.

[ and then, cuz his mama raised him right— ]

Thanks.