VIDEO | un: huntsman

[dishearten]

( this post has been a long time coming. he's needed time to digest the news of the fate of the deemer, and that's even without a heart. it's uncomfortable to be faced with a legion of those that suffered as he had, only worse. by all intents and appearances, there was nothing left of them now.

does that make him lucky? that a part of him still remains, however dismantled from being controlled for decades?

lucky or not, it gives him perspective. a lot of perspective. and for better or worse, he feels the need to share it, in the hopes the rest of the team might understand a little better. )

By now I'm sure all of us know the condition of the Demeers. That they are being manipulated and controlled by a force outside themselves. All information we have indicates that there is nothing left to them after the Taxara infiltrate, their personality wiped and their body lost as a vessel for the means of another.

( he grimaces, unable to quite look the team in the eye as he continues. )

I hope that most of you do not know what it feels like, to not be in control of yourself. It is not a feeling I'd wish on anyone, because I've lived it. I was enslaved for longer than I lived freely. When I was young and foolish— ( some of Audentes can remember that man, thanks to the time shenanigans back in Oska. the Huntsman, full of heart, but full of anger too. ) —I made a promise I ultimately refused to keep. And I paid for it, when an evil queen stole my heart and used it to control me.

( he's outing himself, as the man Sieglinde is trying to help. Graham himself is starting to realize that is too much weight for her to carry; he'll have to broaden his search. but not now, not when there's more important tasks at hand. )

She made me steal. She made me hurt. She made me kill. She made me... do whatever would please her. And I could not resist, nor escape, though it didn't stop me from trying. I have been in the place of these people, for longer than most of you have lived. If it is true, that there's nothing of them left after these creatures took them over, then they are lucky to not have to witness their hands doing the work of another. But even if they are not, believe me when I say living as a slave to the hatred of someone else is a fate worse than death.

If we cannot save them, we owe it to them to bring them to rest.

( it's a negative perspective, and he knows it. but if he were in their place, and he has been in their place... he knows what he would want. )

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text; un: princess

[assent]

[ As she's only just arrived when all of this was going on, she's mostly kept her head down and tried to get by with just watching and observing everything that has been happening. Even the method of communication is strange to her, being more used to phones and computers that technology that sends information from your thoughts.

Her own thoughts are a mess after hearing his story. I hope that most of you do not know what it feels like he had said, yet she knows all too well. Brainwashing was a horrific thing to go through, more so when you have no recollection of it happening, to the point where you are not conscious of yourself at all. On top of that, loving and enjoying every second of the pain you've inflicted on not only on others but also yourself is something no one should have to live through, nevermind remember.

She understands Graham's pain probably more than most here. It grips her heart every day, knowing that because of that control by someone else she is part responsible for almost the end of her world. Countries are laid to ruin, fires all over the streets with buildings torn down. People, normal every day to day civilians have also been brainwashed into violence and suicide. She, as a princess of her country in Europe, had taken the crown for herself and became a poster of Despair. A face for propaganda as her and her classmates wrecked the world.

She's shaking after hearing this, and it's partly why she hasn't responded to the other post that went out to them all before. It's hard to deal with when it's all so fresh.

It's ironic that even after feeling and knowing all this, she can't bring herself to offer her condolences in the way she probably should. ]

Everyone deserves a chance, but I understand that if nothing can be done, it is more merciful to end it all.

[ Because in the end, her and her friends are trying to make amends now, and she can't help but hope that the shells left behind might be able to come back as well. She has to believe that, because over half her class are still unconscious in a coma after being killed in a virtual world. ]

[dishearten]

( it isn't something he'd wish on anyone. Regina had never compelled him to enjoy the damage she caused with his hands, though she could have if she wanted. perhaps she'd liked knowing he would resist and fail. that no matter how much he didn't want to, he'd do as she bid. in the end the scars left behind are just as deep, and a terrible thing to share with someone else.

the text is easier than speaking, a part of him welcomes the focus on the taxara over himself. )

I would like to save them as much as the rest of our team, but all information available to us says their chance was lost the second they were inhabited.
I want nothing more to be wrong. But if I'm not, we should prepare for the worst.

[assent]

[ Well it's one thing to be compelled for all your actions, but Junko had just let them loose on the world after just messing up their heads. She had partly done the things she'd done because she believed them to be right. Either way, nothing about either instance is alright. It's why she chooses to focus on the taxara as well. This probably took him a lot of courage to open up about. ]

It is a shame the technology to reserve the effects does not exist here. In that case, I agree with you. Suffering for the sake of suffering, it is unfair.

[dishearten]

( to be brainwashed was not so much different than being compelled. in the end the result was the same, two people looking back on what they'd done with unbearable guilt that they likely would never escape. )

did you have such technology in your own world? ( it was a curious concept, for sure, but he wasn't sure it could help them now. it's another would have, could have, that they don't have access to. )

exactly. these people still have family left behind at that, we can't forget that either. there's got to be a way we can stop this without excessive violence.

[assent]

[ Sucks, but at least they aren't the only one having gone through something so shitty--not like he knows that. ]

That is correct. The technology in my world is rather profound. Sadly, I am not someone capable of replicating it.

[ She isn't a mechanic, after all. ]

I should hope so. However, sometimes letting go is for the best.

[dishearten]

that's all right. I imagine such a device would be quite difficult to make in the span of time we have.

I wish ALASTAIR would be upfront about the aide they can give these people. They always do tend to keep their cards close to the chest.

[assent]

Not for everyone, however, the person I know who could complete that task is not with us.

You are correct in thinking that, I think. There are a lot of things they are capable of, yet they are not willing to offer a hand? That is very strange.

[dishearten]

we'll have to make do without. the best we can.

supposedly they are; if we round up the infected and bring them back to Oska, they have their 'best chance'.
they neglect to mention what that chance is.

[assent]

Of course.

Then I apologise for misunderstanding, however... it still seems unlikely it is their "best chance" when they are not being open about what that means. Do you think they can be hacked?

[dishearten]

ALASTAIR?

I don't know. it is likely not impossible, though, they use technology that is foreign to many of us. that'd make it more difficult to infiltrate their systems.

[assent]

Not ALASTAIR, no. Though it may help us understand what kind of system they have in mind to give them another chance. I meant those who have been infected.

[ Well... her brain has been before so you never... know... ]

[dishearten]

as far as I'm aware from the information we were granted, they control others organically. not a process that could be easily hijacked, though ... perhaps magically.

( he's not quite at ease with that option, though. two wrongs don't make a right; controlling the taxara won't help their hosts, either. )

[assent]

You would be surprised what can be done with a brain given the right technology.

[ Though it's making her wonder why ALASTAIR might want them back at the HQ if that's the case. ]

[dishearten]

I likely would, technology has never been my strength. ALASTAIR has a great deal of it, though, and even they say the chances are limited.

( more than limited, in fact... the odds are not in the infected Deemer's favor, any way one looks at it. )

[assent]

I am not entirely sure how advanced they are.

[ Which is the truth. She'd only spent a couple of days in Oska before she was shipped here... straight into the middle of this mess. ]

[dishearten]

consider their capacity to move us from world to world, universe to universe
that is not a technology that I expect exists in many places.

[assent]

Technology and magic are not the same thing however. I am uncertain of which is which here.

[dishearten]

I might not be the one to answer that. you might ask a senior team when we are home, if you are curious.

[assent]

I shall consider it. Before I leave, I... Thank you for talking about all of this. Not everyone here would understand, I am sure.

[ It's helped her, at least. ]

[dishearten]

( he can't say "you're welcome" in a situation like this. all he can manage is: )

I hope that it helped, however little.

[assent]

It did. Please take care in the meantime.

[ She'll end it there though, because there's no need to prolong this. It does mean she'll remember his username for future reference though. ]