text; un: shitpost king

[hedonistic]

if anyone can tell me how to get videogames or proper internet on this thing i will do a dare of ur choice and let u record the results for posterity/blackmail/whatever u want

in the meantime i've got way too much time to kill so let's play would you rather

for those of you poor souls who've never known the glory of the internet, it goes like this: someone posts two things (the more ridic the better) and people respond with their decision on which they'd rather do and then come up with their own two things

it ends up with us all judging each other's life and choices and nobody lives happily ever after (◡‿◡✿)

i'll start with something appropriate to our upcoming ~mission~

would you rather...
be eaten by a zombie, or burnt at the stake?

Comments

[hedonistic]

that would be predictable, man
why go for the low-hanging fruit when i can give you a hamburger (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

[12inches]

there's a difference between predictable and a classic!
besides that one might get a little too real if we talk too much from the sound of it
no one likes it when shit gets real

I'd go for the horse-sized duck personally
everyone goes for the duck-sized horses but those little guys would swarm
all you can really do is kick and a kick would only get a couple at a time. then your foot's up in the air and you've got nowhere to put it down. once you lose your balance you're finished.
a horse-sized duck you can fight head on. like a man.

come on, how bout you?

[hedonistic]

it only gets too real if u let it tbh

but fiiiiine
ur gonna owe me an extra answer now tho

i'll take the duck-sized horses tho
ducks are mean motherfuckers but horses are supposed to spook easy, right?
it'd be satisfying af to startle one and then watch the whole swarm turn on each other in a panic
they'd thin themselves out for me and then i'd squash the rest

ok
would you rather have hiccups for the rest of your life or feel like you need to sneeze and not be able to for the rest of your life?

[12inches]

fair but still
I guess if you want my real answer, stake probably. feels less personal.

yeah horses spook, I guess by that your logic is sound but idk "fight" has always implied like
these hundred horses have got a bone to pick with you. you gotta throw down.
like it's providence to pique PETA and punt these plentiful purse ponies.
that + big bird is bad enough but I do not want a hundred vengeful horses on my ass.

oh god uh. I guess sneeze, you could probably get used to it after a while. hiccups could go wrong all over the place. like if you're holding your breath underwater. or it could give away your hiding place with a serial killer on the loose.