[Video | UN: METTATON]

[ex_mettacrusher33]

Well, Audentes. Things have certainly taken a turn towards Sweeps Week, haven't they?

[Who's this stunningly handsome, yet unfortunately badly lit human...? Obviously, it's Mettaton, darlings, learn how to read. But wherever could he be with such hideous lighting?]

Riots, infected, and secrets, oh my... While we're out here doing our best to keep both the townspeople and ourselves safe, I thought it'd be a good time to share with the class what we might have found. And without having to play me for it!! Lucky you. [Wink.

The "camera" gets turned away from Mettaton (a crime, he knows), now clearly showing the inside of Woodhurst Watch HQ. Specifically, inside the head editor's room. He expertly pans it from the mess on the floor that the infected and townsfolk left in their rush to head out towards the top of the desk he's sitting at. On the desk, next to where he's perched his legs (you're welcome), are some scattered sheets of paper. He's focusing his communications jewelry on one in particular.]

"Local cancer patient attacks doctor during regularly scheduled chemotherapy appointment." How dramatic. But certainly interesting, isn't it? [He's audibly tapping his fingers on the desk, just out of frame.] Can't say I know entirely what to make of it, but I'm sure checking any records in the hospital would be a good start.

Also. [He turns his necklace back to himself.] Since I and, I'm only assuming, the rest of those inorganic among us aren't particularly interesting to those infected, we might prove ourselves useful when it comes to... Well. Anything. Can't be infected, won't even attract attention... [He puts a hand to his chest and sighs.] I never thought I'd find an audience I couldn't captivate. But! Here we are and the show must go on.

[Slightly more serious. It's obvious there are specific, less fortunate people on his mind.] If there's anyone out there that needs help, let me know. I'm no superhero, but...

...Why waste a talent when you have it?

Comments

[aspearation]

Ye...s?

[ She sounds like she's actually not sure about that, in particular; she's been poked at with much sharper things, though, even if only in jest, or in training. ]

Okay. What do you need me to do, then?

[predomination]

Just hold still while we draw some blood. It'll just be a little pinprick and a little blood. You've probably lost more from a good nosebleed.

[maybe...]

[aspearation]

Yeah, sure then. I guess so. You're only gonna take a little bit, right?

[ She's had some pretty radical nosebleeds... ]

[predomination]

Of course. You won't even miss it.

[aspearation]

...alright then. Where do you need me?

[predomination]

The hospital, if you don't mind.

-> action?!

[aspearation]

Yeah, sure then. I'll be there soon.

[ And she is there soon. Maybe sooner than she should be. Old habits die hard; she would have arrived even earlier had she not gotten lost along the way. She just has to hope no one else noticed. Once she gets there, though, she looks like she doesn't know what to do with herself (she doesn't) and shoves her hands in her pockets, waiting for...

...wait. She didn't even get that guys name. Damn it. ]

[predomination]

[luckily, the average person on staff has been aggravated enough by Urahara to deal with his problems quickly and efficiently, so when it only takes a second for a nurse to see someone hanging around, assume this is "Dr. Urahara's" patient and escort her to an examining room with little in the way of conversation.

The man, himself, arrives shortly after.] You made it. Sorry it's such a madhouse here. [like he has any control over that. he settled very nicely into this position, thank you.]

[aspearation]

[ It works well enough for Undyne. She hasn't had many occasions to be in a hospital, so it's an interesting experience for her all the same. She has no idea if this is normal or not. ]

Oh, yeah. Hey, don't worry about this. So uh. What do you need me to do?

[predomination]

Just sit down and relax. [he waves her towards a seat, while he collects the tourniquet and needle.] The difficult part is all on me.

[which is simultaneously reassuring and not reassuring.]

[aspearation]

Yeah, sure.

[ She does as instructed, but she can't say she finds it very reassuring, and not really through any fault of his own. Not only is she eyeing the tools he's gathering up, but she's never had anything like this done before... ]

[predomination]

Consider it a learning experience. [that obnoxiously delighted tone of his responds to something she isn't saying- he knows the signs of someone eyeing him like he's a quack, expecting him to do something really weird.

he goes about his work in silence now- tourniquet on, needle poised over... what he... assumes is a vein. hopefully.] Are you ready?

[aspearation]

[ She's surprisingly patient, but only because she has no idea what's going on and despite being... Undyne, she doesn't actually want to mess this up. She can be a mature adult when she chooses to. ]

Yeah, just do it already!

[ Except for that exact moment. ]

[predomination]

[IN GOES THE NEEDLE. OUT COMES THE BLOOD. look how simple.]

We really do appreciate your contribution, Undyne-san. [WHICH IS A REALLY CREEPY THING TO SAY WHILE DRAWING BLOOD. and he knows it. he's an asshole.]

[aspearation]

[ Well heck that smarts. But Undyne is a big girl, and she can take it, and since it's for a good cause, she'll be fine. (Figuratively and literally.) ]

Oh uh, yeah. Don't mention it? So uh, is that all?

[ ??? She has no frame of reference so maybe this is normal?! ]

[predomination]

That's it~ [he removes the needle, presses down on the pinprick with a antiseptic cottonball and some medical tape and it's all over but the wondering IF ANY OF THIS IS NORMAL. IS THIS REAL LIFE.

Urahara scrutinizes the vial of blood in his hand.] So there's nothing weird or unpleasant we should expect to find in this, right?

[aspearation]

I don't think so...?

[ How is she supposed to know? Anyway, she's a busy fish and she has things to do. Important fish things. ]

So can I go now?

[predomination]

Yep! We're all done here. Thank you again. [swim away, fish-lady. swim away.]

[aspearation]

Yeah. Don't mention. I'll, uh. See you around.

[ ???

She still feels weird which is exactly why she'll make a swift getaway.



...not even five minutes after she's left the hospital proper, Urahara will find that the sample he's taken has turned into a fine white dust. It smells vaguely of seawater, cannot be reconstituted into blood by any means, and when analyzed, has a similar composition to ash from burnt paper.

Better luck next time, science friend! ]