video; un: fiona

[cachemoney]

[Fiona is a little out of breath, like she just hustled very quickly away from somewhere. Which she did, but that's neither here nor there. The background behind her is some innocuous wood panelling; she's in a house.]

Okay. So. Crunch time. Things are getting nuts out there, if you didn't notice. We are gonna wind up super screwed if we don't hop to figuring out what the hell to do.

[She holds up a vial. It has some alien writing on it, as well as a familiar symbol on the label.]

We found this inside the hospital. A shit-ton of them, actually. So who wants to find out what Zymandis asshole is responsible for this mess and beat an antidote out of them?



[ ooc. PS, maya, hanzo, and mccree might show up in your threads. feel free to threadjack as well! ]

Comments

[moneyman]

What?

[ give him a second, here. ]

...You mean the Taraxa? They don't look like—

[ another pause, and his expression shifts to mild horror as a truly ugly revelation hits him. ]

Oh, my god, they do kind of look like dicks.

[moneyballer]

Not hard ones, obviously-

[vaughn, u have personally endeared urself 2 asher in a record amount of time

congratulation]

But okay, right? Right!!!

So it isn't just me!

[moneyman]

Oh, my god. [ it's all he can say, apparently. both hands come up to cover his face. this is awful. ] Why did you have to say that? Now I'll never—those things get into people's brains.

[ brain dicks. god damn it. ]

not here

[pummelling]

[but he's watching this conversation in mute horror asher stop CORRUPTING PEOPLE TO YOUR DICK-BASED CAUSE]

[moneyballer]

That's what I've been sayin', man!

[He pounds two fists together, then parting his hands as the fingers flutter.

As if they've stumbled upon something absolutely brilliant. (:/)]

Brain dicks.

[moneyman]

Yyyyep.

[ he shakes his head, slow and mournful. ]

Brain dicks.

[ he'll never unsee it. ]

he's such a douche im sorry

[moneyballer]

Maaaan.

[Asher balls his hand into a fist.]

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "gettin' some brain," huh? Hehe.

never be sorry

[moneyman]

I've literally never even heard that phrase before, actually. [ if only it could have stayed that way. he winces a little. ] Buuut I can make an educated guess, and yes. It sure does.

[ as if the concept of brain slugs wasn't bad enough. ]

[moneyballer]

[He scoffs at that, grin crooked.]

Sounds pretty freaky, huh?

[Could it be?

Another person who's actually normal...

Maybe.]

Jokes aside, amirite? Jesus.

I thought we were done with dealing with those extraterrestrial wangs.

[moneyman]

[ yeah, sure. "normal." let's go with that. ]

Yyyeah, I was kinda hoping we were, too. As if zombie herpes wasn't enough.

[moneyballer]

Oh my god, yikes.

[Asher folds his arms and shakes his head.]

Can you imagine that shit, bruh? Thinkin' you caught the clap or somethin' and then findin' out you got a taste for human flesh?

There's no pussy bomb enough in the universe for that to be worth it. Nuh uh! No friggin' way.

[moneyman]

I... cannot imagine that shit, no. [ thanks for the mental image, though, bruh. ] But yes, agreed. I mean, herpes is for life, so I would assume zombie herpes is also for life. Totally not worth it.

[ why the fuck is he having this conversation. ]

[cashlin]

What a friggin' mindfuck!

[LILITH, NO.]

[moneyballer]

[ok he should be srs right now-]

Holy shit.

[but he is honestly enjoying pulling other people into his own misery all of this]

That's a good one.

[cashlin]

[SHE'S CACKLING AND LOOKING THROUGH THE LAST MISSION'S CASE FILES... GOD.... BRAIN DICKS!!!!!]

I'll be here all week.

They do totally look like dicks, by the way. You're right. I swear, I can't take floppy slug dicks seriously, if that's what we're up against...

[moneyballer]

Yeah, they really do look like a bunch of sad little weens-

[J E S U S CHRIST

✞]

Careful, though.

It's probably best not to get too close to 'em. Keep your ears covered, maybe? I dunno.

[cashlin]

[🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

also, snorting laughter--] Weens.

Aw, you're worried. That's cute. It's gonna take more than just some creepy crawlies to get the better of me; this Perdition's Rest place you guys were at before I got here sounds a lot like the planet I was on before ALASTAIR picked me up.

[moneyballer]

[He is worried. He may not know her very well, but he certainly isn't the type of person to wish death upon a stranger.]

But, you know what they do to people if you know what they are... Right?

That doesn't you scare you?

[Asher wishes he could live a life without fear, sometimes.

Maybe then he'd understand what it was like to be strong.]

Not even a lil' bit?

[cashlin]

[Good question. Lilith's mouth twists a little, brows knitting together, as she mentally chews on the statement.

Fear, it seems, is foreign to her. It's got to be. Because--]

If I let 'em scare me, that means they've already won.

[How else could she have fought her way through planets so unforgiving, if not without an unflinching faith in her own power? For years, that had been all she'd had to rely on. There was no room for hesitation or softness. Not on Pandora, and not on any other dry waste of rock she'd set foot on before that world.

Also, she's definitely gonna ruin that profound statement.]

If anything comes near my earholes, I'm melting it and setting the goop on fire. That's it.

[moneyballer]

[He's not sure if he should be jealous of her; it's obvious from the look in her eyes that there's a story there, and it's most likely an unpleasant one.

Still, he is. Must be nice to have that kind of faith in yourself. At the moment he doesn't understand.]

Sounds like a plan.

[Uttered with a laugh, a weak one.

She is this way because this is the only way she can afford to be, Millstone. You just don't see it yet.]

You gonna use a match, or...?

[cashlin]

[You got no idea, Ash.

She's also not bothered by the way that the man seems to wilt, almost. She likes intimidating people. She's scary. There, too, is power in fear.]

Naaah. I'm a Siren. I'm gonna use me.

[moneyman]

[ no, indeed. ]

You just had to go there, didn't you.

[cashlin]

I'm an opportunistic lady, Vaughn.

[ ;) ]

not here, but

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[This is the face of a man who looked up the case files out of curiosity and is currently experiencing an entire life of regret.

oh god is that what they look like?]

[moneyballer]

[idk about ur man mtt

that bitch glows in the dark]