text; un: shitpost king

[hedonistic]

sup nerds
sorry to interrupt everyone's doom and gloom party over here, but with the whole zombie apocalypse thing going down outside, there's about 90% less shit to actually do and i'm super fucking bored, so

let's play never have i ever

which, if ur one of the stone age people, goes like this:
u post something u have never done
other people reply
threadjacking is encouraged
if u ever did the thing u gotta post urself taking a sip of booze of ur choice
(or u can just go honor system i guess if u want, i'm not the boss of u)

if ur like a tiny baby or are a lame person who doesn't drink u can have water or soda instead
the challenge for u is to avoid peeing as long as possible

so i'll start us off

never have i ever....had an urge to chomp on human flesh (◡‿◡✿)





(no i'm kidding. i'm kidding, that's not the real one. u can put down ur torches and pitchforks lmao)



ok here's the real real one: never have i ever been on a roller coaster

Comments

[hedonistic]

haha no
well, sort of, but more like the other way around
japan is the one that doesn't want anyone mucking with their ~perfect society~
not other countries trying to keep us out

[keystaff]

Perfect society? How do you mean?

couldn't come up w/ a new tag for the other thread after all so. handwavey motions

[hedonistic]

[And because he saw that thread with Nyuu, and actually isn't a complete douchebag--]

long story, kiddo
let's just say people think everyone's going to be safe and happy their whole lives and no one ever gets hurt again

no worries.

[keystaff]

Well that's the ideal isn't it? I know bad things still happen sometimes but. That's what everyone would want.

[hedonistic]

that's the thing about ideals
things never really end up working out that way


anyway it's my turn, i think
never have i ever ...

[wow a bunch of these he's thinking of would require supplying the same deets he's actually trying to avoid telling her directly, for once. hm.]

gone swimming in the ocean

[There, that's innocuous enough.]

[keystaff]

Swimming in the ocean? I have! Did you live further in-land away from the coast or something that you didn't get to go to the beach?

[hedonistic]

[...let's go with that, sure.]

yeah
really inland

[like, confined to a single building without an escort outside inland.]

[keystaff]

We should go sometime! The theme park and the beach!

[hedonistic]

[if a text could seem uncomfortable, this one would be.]

that'd be great

[#freehim]

[keystaff]

wait do you know how to swim? I mean, you could still have fun walking in the shallow parts or making sandcastles but. The ocean is really nice and cool to swim in, even with the salt.

i debated my headcanon about this for like, ever..

[hedonistic]

i know how to swim, yeah

[It's a very basic, functional knowledge, since the pool at MWPSB HQ only became available for Enforcer usage relatively recently, but he's at least not going to drown in water deeper than he can stand in.]

but sandcastles sound fun, too

[keystaff]

Sandcastles are fun! I could teach you? If you haven't made one before.

[hedonistic]

hell yeah
it's settled then
sandcastles, swimming, and roller coasters -- first chance we get

[keystaff]

It's a plan! A deal!

Ah, once we figure somewhere with all these missions that has those, I mean. I'd say Nalawi would have been best for the beach, but. We already went there. I think before you showed up. But maybe another mission!

[hedonistic]

yeah no i've never heard of nalawi before
i just got here a couple months ago

[keystaff]

Hm. You know about the Pacific, right? It was sort of like that. Tropical, beaches. I mean, there were the goddesses we had to deal with, but. The setting for that mission was nicer than some.

[hedonistic]

evil goddesses ruining a tropical paradise, huh
this place just gets more and more rpg like, every conversation i have
i half wonder if this is somebody's idea of a weird cosmic joke

[keystaff]

I hadn't thought of that. But I did have some video games back home. I mean, Kero-chan probably played them more than I did, but still.

[hedonistic]

who's kero-chan
your sister or something?

[keystaff]

My sister? No, that's not it.
He's...hang on.

[There's a brief pause before she pulls up the video and shows herself holding what looks like a soft toy, and...at the moment, actually is because she does not actually have the Guardian with her.]

He's the Guardian of the Clow Cards. That's not really his actual form, but. It's like a disguise?
He's not here with me though, this really is just a soft toy that looks like him.

[hedonistic]

oh my fucking god
that's so cute, what the hell
why does my world not have adorable fairies you can play video games with

[keystaff]

Fairies? Um, he's not a fairy. He's a Guardian. This is just what his disguise looks like. He's usually more. I guess like a lion with wings that breathes fire?

[hedonistic]

[kagari shuusei's jelly meter: rising]

that's even better

[keystaff]

It took a bit of adjusting to when he would sometimes transform at home, inside, when he'd talk to Yue-san.

But it worked out, since he was able to help defend me when things got a little out of hand from then on too.

[hedonistic]

shit who's yue??

[if kero is a winged firebreathing lion then this yue is probably something even cooler, like a DRAGON or something]

i'm so mad jealous that you're from a world where this kind of thing is totally normal

[BE EXCITED ABOUT THIS LIKE HE IS]