text; un: shitpost king

[hedonistic]

sup nerds
sorry to interrupt everyone's doom and gloom party over here, but with the whole zombie apocalypse thing going down outside, there's about 90% less shit to actually do and i'm super fucking bored, so

let's play never have i ever

which, if ur one of the stone age people, goes like this:
u post something u have never done
other people reply
threadjacking is encouraged
if u ever did the thing u gotta post urself taking a sip of booze of ur choice
(or u can just go honor system i guess if u want, i'm not the boss of u)

if ur like a tiny baby or are a lame person who doesn't drink u can have water or soda instead
the challenge for u is to avoid peeing as long as possible

so i'll start us off

never have i ever....had an urge to chomp on human flesh (◡‿◡✿)





(no i'm kidding. i'm kidding, that's not the real one. u can put down ur torches and pitchforks lmao)



ok here's the real real one: never have i ever been on a roller coaster

Comments

[hedonistic]

ohhhh my god
no, that would've been a bit tough when i was five

but it's really cute that that's the conclusion you came to
and i mean that completely sincerely

[feytality]

[too bad she missed it!!!]

I bet you could pull it off! I could see it rogue five year old on the loose karate chopping the stress police and going on wild adventures!

but then what did you mean by special case?

[hedonistic]

[He's caught off-guard by that, a bit. He's both endeared by her clearly active imagination and a little bit...ah, unsettled, perhaps, at the realization that she didn't catch his implication.

She's probably too naive to imagine any scenario like the truth, he thinks, and where with others, that often pisses him off, makes him want to twist the knife harder...right now it just makes him feel awkward. Like maybe he shouldn't tell her after all, but he's in too deep now.]

i've been a latent criminal almost my entire life, maya-chan

i've never had to worry about my crime coefficient because it's always been a mess, and it's always going to be a mess, no matter what i do or don't do

[feytality]

[Maya knows a thing or two about being labelled a criminal by society when you're innocent :') So she's instantly defensive of Kagari]

WHAT

That's not fair!!! you didn't do anything wrong!! that sybil thing is SERIOUSLY messed up!

[hedonistic]

[It makes him feel weird, seeing her get mad on his behalf. Others have also been disturbed or expressed a condolence toward his circumstances, but the vehemence of her reaction surprises him.

It should make him feel better, vindicated, but it doesn't, not really. Maybe because when he's just telling her this shit about his life without doing it intentionally to try to hurt or shock her, or to unload his own bitterness ... it just sucks to see her feel sorry for him.]

on the bright side
i do get to skip the whole stress care obsession part
and actually enjoy shit like getting drunk

[feytality]

you gotta bust out of the whole Sybil thing! it sucks!!

[She doesn't feel sorry for him, she feels defensive of him because she's projecting just a tiny bit. It's different!!]



what what

[hedonistic]

[god, she probably thinks that's actually possible too, doesn't she.]

that's not how it works, maya-chan
if i try to escape, i'll just be killed

i'm nothing but trash to japan
trash that happens to be useful for taking out other trash littering up society, so i get a couple more scraps tossed my way than i would otherwise
but if i stop being useful, there'd be no reason to keep allowing me to exist

[feytality]

[. . .]

then you can't go back there! ever! that's totally messed up! You should be free to live your life! you're not trash! You're a PERSON!

[hedonistic]

[There's nothing on Kagari's end for a long time.

He almost doesn't even reply at all, ready to knock out the rest of his alcohol stash in one go and deal with this never. You're a person. On some level, they're words Kagari has always wanted to hear--he just never thought they'd hurt so much when he finally did.

This was a mistake, he realizes. He shouldn't have told her anything. Really, he doesn't even belong here, among all these wide-eyed idealists who want to be heroes.]

that's the thing though
i'm not free here, either
not really
and the life i had in japan? it was shitty, but it was mine
i knew the rules, and the people who were in it understood what it was like

[But -- he appreciates the sentiment, as uncomfortable as it makes him.]

[feytality]

[it's honestly an awkward medium to be having a deep, heartfelt conversation on, and Maya spends a good few minutes fidgeting with her Magitek to see if he'll respond.]

[then a couple of minutes looking at his response. And, finally:]

hey

we should hang out

i know stuff's crazy but i have some movies where are you

[hedonistic]

[It is awkward. If they had been talking in person though, he probably wouldn't have even gotten this far. And they're not going to be getting much farther any time soon; Maya's just offered him a distraction, and Kagari lives for distraction, the flashier and more distracting the better.]

u know upshur's place?
i've been shacking up with him and his scruffy sadsack roomie
i'll be expecting those zombie parrots

[look, he's Gotta, ok, he can only be so open and sincere in one go before he returns to the trashcan where he belongs.]

-> action?????

[feytality]

[Well, it's far enough for now. He's told her this much, there's no going back.]

[And he's not refusing, so #yolo. It's not like there's much she can do to change his home situation. But she's here now, she can do this much, can't she? Provide him with some distraction and fun]

no idea!! send me directions and I'll be right there

yaaaaaargh, polly want some steak brains!

[Apparently that was supposed to be a parrot]

maybe a handwave, this time if that's ok 8|a;

[hedonistic]

[steelsamayarai, you have received (1) location ping]

man
i wonder if you could make steak out of brains
there's probably a zombie movie out there that's done it

see ya in a few, maya-chan