text; un: shitpost king

[hedonistic]

ok listen up, this is actually legitimately important

if this is your first time getting locked up like this, you need to understand one main thing going forward: our lives are less than worthless to these people. every second we're still breathing is a second more than they needed to give us.

i can't promise that we're going to be okay. i don't know if ALASTAIR gives enough of a shit to come for us. but even though i'm not gonna be the guy who has a lot of pretty words to say to keep hope alive or whatever, i do know a few things about staying safe in here. surviving, if this is for the long haul

1) don't make a fuss or be a nuisance to the guards. don't draw attention. the more forgettable you are, the better off you'll be

2) try to avoid using your jewel comms as much as you can. if they realize we're communicating through these, they'll be confiscated

3) DON'T TRY TO BE A HERO. this is the most important point here so i'm gonna repeat it, DO NOT TRY TO BE A FUCKING HERO.

we're not in a fucking action movie, trying to escape or break everyone out will get you in deep ass shit, maybe even made an example out of. don't fucking do it.

Comments

[skelepun]

not dead, just not human. but hey, it's no skin off my back.

speaking of skin in the game, you think you're getting through to people?

[hedonistic]

does it look like i'm getting through to people

[skelepun]

how's that feel?

[hedonistic]

what are you, my fucking therapist?

[skelepun]

my bad, pal, i should've minded the edge.

[hedonistic]

if you've got something to say, maybe you should spit it out already

[normally, kagari is the first person in line for shenanigans and bullshit. but his patience is fraying. he's angry and frustrated and tired and sans is absolutely succeeding at pushing his buttons.]

[skelepun]

yeesh, this guy.

just wanted to see how you were holding up, pal. asked you and everything before you took to my bones like a dog two days out from its last meal.

[hedonistic]

[...]

what?

[He'd thought Sans had been messing with him. Making fun of his obvious frustration.]

[skelepun]

do you wanna scroll up or should I ask again?

[hedonistic]

[Kagari doesn't really know what to do now. This has suddenly become uncomfortable in an entirely different way than the other conversations.]

why do you even care?

[...so he falls back on defensiveness. It's the only defense mechanism he has, against an admission of honest concern that he never asked for and isn't sure he wants.]

[skelepun]

it's called being decent. crazy concept, i know.

[hedonistic]

[His jaw twitches. He's usually all about sarcasm and screwing around, but this one hits a nerve. His patience is already frayed from the arguments he's had throughout this post, and he's just so tired of the Good People on this team. As if it didn't make sense to be suspicious that Sans was messing with him! What with all the righteous indignation and flippant dismissal he was getting, why wouldn't he assume that this was more of the same?

Or maybe that's just his flawed trash brain. Who the fuck knows. Akane probably would've been sincere too. Ugh. But he can't bring himself to back down, and he's certainly not going to be vulnerable about his feelings to a near stranger over the network.]

oh is that the word for it? learn something new every day

hey anon, tell me something
how do you keep the inside of your ribcage clean? i hear bloodstains are a bitch to get out

[skelepun]

[From somewhere far away, Sans sighs. Guess sense of humor was relative.]

nah nah, you got me all wrong. it's tomato juice.

[hedonistic]

i stand corrected
you should give chocolate syrup a try, though
i hear it's what they use in the movies

[or...used .... since sybil era movies probably aren't particularly bloody. too risky for the hue.]

[skelepun]

good tip, but i've got a brand to maintain.

anyway it's been real, buddy. i'll mind my own business next time.