text; un: shitpost king

[hedonistic]

ok listen up, this is actually legitimately important

if this is your first time getting locked up like this, you need to understand one main thing going forward: our lives are less than worthless to these people. every second we're still breathing is a second more than they needed to give us.

i can't promise that we're going to be okay. i don't know if ALASTAIR gives enough of a shit to come for us. but even though i'm not gonna be the guy who has a lot of pretty words to say to keep hope alive or whatever, i do know a few things about staying safe in here. surviving, if this is for the long haul

1) don't make a fuss or be a nuisance to the guards. don't draw attention. the more forgettable you are, the better off you'll be

2) try to avoid using your jewel comms as much as you can. if they realize we're communicating through these, they'll be confiscated

3) DON'T TRY TO BE A HERO. this is the most important point here so i'm gonna repeat it, DO NOT TRY TO BE A FUCKING HERO.

we're not in a fucking action movie, trying to escape or break everyone out will get you in deep ass shit, maybe even made an example out of. don't fucking do it.

Comments

[trueborn]

[ It seems as though Kagari will call him that, no matter what he asks of him. So, he accepts it. As he has accepted many things. ]

No, I don't believe that I am.

[ It aches, to admit such a thing. To denounce the idea that he is a kind boy, a gentle boy. A hopeful one. To be compared to such a girl, even briefly - to be thought of in such a light - he craves it. He wants to sink his teeth into that feeling and clutch it tight, to harvest whatever fleeting affection Kagari is giving him. Even if it is because he is the ghost of the shell of the memory of this girl.

But, he's not. ]

I am doing this, because this is the only thing I have left. I am either of use to Audentes, or I am -- I am nothing.

[ He says "nothing" the way some might say "dead". ]

[hedonistic]

[Kagari just stares at Ninurrta for a minute, and then...he starts laughing out loud again, as if he's just heard the funniest thing of his entire life. He's been doing that a lot, in this conversation -- maybe because laughter is the only thing between him and an actual mental break, at this point.

It actually takes him a minute to catch his breath, and he rakes a hand through his hair, a few final incredulous huffs slipping out. It's surreal, this entire moment. He thinks he sees it right now, the distinction between someone like him and a "good" person. No wonder Sybil said there was no chance for rehabilitation, honestly.]

Wow. Incredible.

[He actually slow claps, like an utter douchebag.]

I take it back. You're not just like Akane-chan, you're even more hopeless.

[A shake of his head]

Really, I wonder what that sentence sounds like in your head. "I want to save universes because otherwise there's no point living. I'm such a selfish, terrible person for caring about literally the entire multiverse. It's not like my own happiness matters, or anything."

You know what happens to me, if I stop being useful, back home? I go to a place like this, except every cell's solitary. The only way I stay out is by putting other people there.

[The smirk sharpens, and he tilts his head challengingly.]

So why don't you tell me more about how we're entirely on the same level.

[trueborn]

[ The laughter is - well, it's more than enough for him to find acceptable. It's better than nothing, even if he flinches from it, unable to gauge where Kagari's whimsical moods will take them next. It's not as though he can escape from the cell, they're locked in here, together.

This boy reminds him of Just, and the resemblance brings him just enough terror and nausea that he has to sit on the edge of his bunk, unable to stop his knees from quaking - unwilling to allow Kagari to gain any more ground with these accusations and wicked words. ]

We're not the same. I never said that you and I were the same - only that you were not the sole pariah.

[ Those his tone is frigid, his resolve has not weakened -- ]

I will never know who you were, in that world you came from. You will never know who I was, in mine. So, we may continue to discuss this - you may continue to challenge me, but my word stands: I will ensure your safety. There is no alternative. Judging you by your words, Kagari - you know the same to be true.

Either you are what you were born for, or you are nothing.

[hedonistic]

[He can tell he's getting under Ninurrta's skin. There's something satisfying in it, watching the boy grapple with the existence of someone who's actually trash, to hang onto his belief that it was worth handing Kagari a promise like that.

Poor, stupid kid. He'd be willing to let him take it back, if it wouldn't be a waste of time to offer. Maybe he'll realize his mistake before it's too late.]

Maybe I'm not, but if you think you're one of them because you're desperate to prove your usefulness, you fit in even better than I thought you did.

[He scoffs, derisively]

But hey, I'm not in any huge rush to die, and like I said, it's not like I can stop you from trying to protect me. Here's hoping you don't come to regret it, eh?

[He cushions his head against his arms, then, and leans up against the wall, one leg crossing over the other. He wears his grin like he's in on some big secret Ninurrta isn't, offering a grin that's infuriatingly knowing.]

I'll tell you something though, Ninu-san. Sometimes? People are born to be nothing. It's not so bad, you know.

[When you'll be worthless to society regardless, it doesn't matter what you do or don't do. If that's the only freedom he'll ever have, he'll take it.]

Kind of nice, even, when you get used to it.

[A wink]

Food for thought.