TEXT | un: purrsona

[purrtagonist]

[about four or so hours after the infiltration of the Mothership mission begins, a message appears on the network. it's in text, mostly because. . . uh. talking into one's magitek about an undercover mission while surrounded by enemy agents is probably not wise]

So has anyone come up with a code name for themselves yet?

[. . . yep. . .]

An undercover spy mission seems like a good chance for just that. Think about it-- you can finally be the person you've always wanted to be with the name you've always wanted to have. Viking. Sapphire. Velociraptor. I think the possibilities are pretty endless.

[THAT SAID]

Though it'd probably be nice to meet all of you without the mask of a code name, first. I keep running into people I don't know, and I can't tell who is an ally and who isn't.

[. . .]

I call dibs on the name 002.

[a very serious post during a very serious mission? also? help the new guy out by introducing yourself so he can stop freaking out every time he runs into someone new!!]

Comments

[purrtagonist]

[and yet, he goes with it]

Second cousin, twice removed.
Two plus two is four.
Seven minus four is three.

Ah, crap.
I guess I should be 003.

[feathery]

does 003 get a different backstory from 002 or are you gonna roll with it as part of the improv

[purrtagonist]

I'm going to roll with 003 being 002 after a promotion.

[wait wouldn't a promotion mean going DOWN in numbers??]

[feathery]

oh snap
bond better watch his ass
a couple more promotions and hes got an upstart relative ready to snatch his code name out from under it

[That's...not how it works, but Davesprite isn't going to let paltry things like canon or logic stop him.]

[purrtagonist]

[that may not be how it works, but hey, this is THEIR universe, they can make up the rules how they see fit!!]

003 was always the ambitious sort.
He'll be running the entire agency at this rate.

[feathery]

yeah i gotta say moving from numbers to letters is hella ambitious
respect yo
maybe i oughta take a letter
not the leadership kind of letter though more like the men in black kind of letter
i already got the shades going on

[purrtagonist]

All 003 needs now is a sidekick.
To make sure he doesn't go mad with power.

And how Agent T?
For Tony Hawk, and all.

[feathery]

id volunteer but im from a different agency
but yeah alright
agent t is a dude who was way too invested in an overpriced piece of wheeled wood before he met a bunch of aliens and realized his true destiny:
literally becoming a bird

[purrtagonist]

[literally-- what]

And how did that work out for him?

[feathery]

well he got to fully realize the ample irony of his newfound feathery existence
so it went better than it could have
hes still pretty new to the whole thing though so the implications of his bizarro existence are still a god damn mystery
but the air he can catch now is fucking sick the doctors dont know where to even start with a diagnosis

[purrtagonist]

So. . . in layman's terms.






He's really good at flying?

[feathery]

fucking amazing at it
heliums got nothing on him
like the dude never lands

[purrtagonist]

If he's not careful he's going to start making balloons jealous.

[feathery]

if they arent jealous already then hes clearly been slacking
pretty soon the only job left for balloons will be getting into contorted party favors by clowns

[purrtagonist]

And that'll be the day we mourn the loss of hot air balloon rides everywhere.

[feathery]

thats what they get for being full of hot air
only serious flight contenders are allowed

[purrtagonist]

So if balloons are out, that leaves. . .
Airplanes and helicopters.

And fellow birds.

[feathery]

im a full supporter of sharing airspace with fellow birds
except for like
owls and shit
cause theyre assholes and would totally eat a crow which is
suddenly a thing i care about apparently
well alright then

[purrtagonist]

[well. huh]

I'm glad I could at least lead you to this very important epiphany?
I think.

[feathery]

yeah i dunno
my birdbrain is pretty insistent on it being relevant information but the rest of me doesnt really care
like what are the odds im gonna run into a space owl big enough to actually have me for lunch