text | UN: A$HMON3Y

[moneyballer]

ay yo ladieeeeez 😜 hay hay hAY hayyyyyy ✋✋✋ if any of u girly gals need a STUDMUFFIN ✔️✔️✔️✔️ 2 help sell the whole baws asssz upper class B I A T C H than g thang thaaaaang 💁 dis boi got an 🍑 dat won't quit and a lotta lurve ❤️❤️❤️ 4 his new teamies so holla atcho homie if u need a little man 🍭 hangin around while u strut ur stuff

*and PS NO 🐵 bidness, i'm taken, ok? yee thnk u

skeet skeet

Comments

[moneyballer]

i just wanted 2 help

[unholey]

I don't think it's an entirely bad idea. It's better if we work in teams anyway. And posing as a servant, you could maybe get some information from actual servants.

But if you want to be taken seriously, you should type that way. And not use fruit in the place of expletives. Why'd you use a peach for ass anyway? I can't see the connection.

[Because............... they look like butts, Fugo. That's why.]

voice; whispering, loudly and obnoxiously:

[moneyballer]

It's because it looks like a butt.

voice; deeply affronted & scandalized

[unholey]

What? No it doesn't! That's stupid.

[moneyballer]

[douchey laughter]

Yeah it does!

[Jokingly, with a squint that's almost a wink-]

What, never seen one?

[unholey]

No it doesn't. [Is this really the hill you want to die on, Pannacotta Fugo.] And fuck off, I've seen enough of both to know that you're full of shit.

[moneyballer]

Oh.

[Asher chews the inside of his lip, head cocking to the side slightly.]

Dang. You've probably never seen anyone with a lil-

[wait how old is this twink again]

Nevermind.

[unholey]

With a--

[Fugo cuts himself off. Asher will hear him take a breath. He also pinches the bridge of his nose and grinds his molars, but as this isn't video Asher won't get to see that. It's probably for the best.]

You know what. Yes, let's nevermind that.

[He Does Not Want To Know. Or, at least: he doesn't want to know from Asher.]

[pummelling]

[BASEBALL SLIDES IN]

You'll have to excuse him. He means well, but his foot's permanently stuck in his mouth.

[unholey]

[In a very Not Sorry tone of voice:] Sorry, but my social overhead was getting too high so I had to cut back certain niceties. Particularly excuses. I'm saving them for emergencies.

[pummelling]

Noted. And accepted. In this case, I think Asher deserves it.

[nerd.]

[unholey]

Fill out the paperwork and I'll pretend to take your request into consideration before I use the reject stamp on it. How does that sound?

[pummelling]

Like you need to get some outside hobbies, Fugo?

[moneyballer]

[uselessly babbles while his boyfriend and one of his boyfriend's adopted sons exchange witty banter in the distance]