audio; un: alucard

[reposing]

[Sometime after the Escort Missions are completed, Alucard speaks up on the network, sounding weary.]

I loathe to ask this of any of you, though I respect any who wish to decline my request. If you accept, know that I am incredibly grateful for it.

I require a bit of blood, if you have it. I know not all of you do. I will not accept it from someone who is ill.

Should you wish an explanation, or have further questions, I will answer them. I am open to discussing on methods of bloodletting if you would consider to donate it to me.

Comments

[dbag]

I mean. You could lose a lot of blood. And die.

[moneyman]

I really don't think this dude wants to kill me. Buuut I guess if you feel that strongly about it...

[ how heartwarming. ]

[dbag]

I'm not saying he wants to kill you, I'm just saying this place has, like, ancient medical technology.

I'm pretty sure every needle had syphilis or something back then. [ History!!!!! ] And also that just giving your blood away because someone asked for it isn't exactly a good reason to poke yourself full of holes.

[moneyman]

I appreciate that you want to protect me from vampire syphilis, Rhys, but I feel like this is one of the few things I can do to help people out, you know? I mean, I gave plenty of blood in Woodhurst. I know it wasn't the same, but it helped, right?

[ validate him!! ]

[dbag]

I reeeaaally don't think donating blood to science is the same as letting a possible vampire, probable weirdo drink it. Plus, people are really chomping at the bit here to get their blood drunk. It's... um. "Inspiring."

Whatever, if you want a syphilitic vampire weirdo to drink your blood, go for it. Just remember who warned you when it gets weird.

[moneyman]

[ siiigh. ]

Okay, okay, fine. I... guess I wouldn't want you to do it, either. Especially not after you were already so sick.

[ zombie syphilis is probably worse than vampire syphilis, though. ]

[dbag]

[ IT WASN'T SYPHILIS, VAUGHN, IT WAS JUST........ transmitted through bodily fluids. Shut up, maybe it was a zombie STD. ]

Weeell, good thing I wasn't planning on it. I'm keeping all my blood inside of me. That's where it lives.

Besides, we're at war. Nnnot that I'm planning on running to the front lines, but that just seems like something you should have all your blood for. Ideally.

[moneyman]

I mean, I guess, but... I dunno, it would really suck to be a vampire and—god, pun not intended—and have to ask people for blood. Like, at least he's asking politely, right? You know, rather than doing what I'm assuming is the usual vampire thing, with the murder and everything. I feel bad.

[dbag]

I mean, if I were a vampire, and I wanted to throw people off my murderous scent, I'd ask people politely, too.

Juuuust sayin'.

[moneyman]

...Good point. I'd like to think they wouldn't bring a murderous vampire onto this team, though. Kinda puts a strain on HR if you hire someone who just kills your other employees. It'd be a really high turnaround, you know? I dunno, man. Do you think they'd do that to us?

[dbag]

...Okay, fair. You're probably right.

Although, I mean, if I didn't want to pay my employees, maybe I would hire someone who would kill my employees.

Not that I... actually would do that.

[reposing]

I can hear your entire conversation.

[dbag]

...

Sooo the syphilis didn't take your hearing then.

[reposing]

I do not have syphilis. And here I had been almost convinced you had some semblance of intelligence.

[dbag]

I was joking. I'm super intelligent.

But, I mean, pretty defensive for a guy who claims not to have syphilis.

[reposing]

Doubtful.

Do you expect that I would take well to your rudeness? I should think not.

[dbag]

Weeell. I guess the syphilis took your sense of humor.

[reposing]

No, it took my confidence in your ability to use your head.

[dbag]

But you did think I was smart before.

[ taking the fuckin compliment bitch you can't stop him ]

[reposing]

A bit irrelevant now.