text, @TARANTO

[heavyhitter]

ok guys listen i got something i've been thinking about, no one's been able to answer it for me yet
check it out: deer dildos
???
do they use them? it doesn't have to be dildos anything sexy in general, that counts. i'm not buying there's any sentient sexually reproducing species out there that hasn't invented sex toys, so what do deer use. does it have to do with antlers?? i haven't put much thought into deer sex so i'm not working on much here, just tossing out ideas. lemme know, thanks



oh wait one more thing, i really wanna get off this island. i've seen everything and it's boring. these guys suck at technology right? and swimming. oh my god they're so pathetically useless

but WE are way better at both those things! so here's my proposal: we team up and use our evolved smarts and build a floating litter, or popemobile, or something, and get me over to the next island. good, right?? i think we can do it! we got science grandpa AND nerd granduncle running around here, and probably half a dozen other nerds i haven't dug up yet. we can do this. i believe in us. if there's any parties going on on the other islands, let's get me to them.

Comments

[heavyhitter]

yeah maybe
evan pointed out they do that stone shaping thing though so maybe they were perfectly equipped for dildo making. maybe they had specialized guys for it! and "wouldn't notice it" please you're underestimating my imagination

[wardance]

[ wow this imagination...!? ]

oh deer god

[wardance]

dear^*

[ that's what he gets for trying to type it in English... ]

[heavyhitter]

don't fix it you're going to ruin it! take that fucking asterix back

[wardance]

ruin it
what
????

no
how would I even take it back

[heavyhitter]

you go like this

"i'm sorry for undoing my deer pun, the deer pun can stay"

[wardance]

what pun??

[ since the texts are translated he's not yet seeing his English typing efforts have resulted in something. ]

[heavyhitter]

what, come on, it's right there
deer
i'm not holding your hand through punning if that's what you're looking for

[wardance]

[ it takes him a moment or two to consider the words in English rather than Japanese but when he does finally see it. ]

oh
I see it in your language now

WOW

[heavyhitter]

"in your language" wow way to assume, rude
what were to translating it to?

[wardance]

japanese. DEER is not very pun-able with DEAR.

rude?? Aren't you a foreigner? All westerners know the dragon language.

[ he means English. he is also calling people foreigners when he's not even a native himself to any of these locations. ]

[heavyhitter]

what the fuck is dragon language. english??? what has english ever done to deserve a name like that

[wardance]

dragons are better than engls

[heavyhitter]

i'm losing track of this conversation so fucking fast

[wardance]

me too
different topic

[heavyhitter]

ok swimming abilities and can you carry me on your shoulders as you swim: go

[wardance]

I can.

[heavyhitter]

wtf
how

[wardance]

OK
not literally swim
but I can go on the surface if its calm

-text- un: saber

[invisiblade]

[whoa whoa hold the phone enchanted jewelry.]

Excuse me. When you say "engls" to whom exactly are you referring??

[don't say English if you know what's good for you.]

[wardance]

the engl in english.

whatever it is.

[ welp ]

[invisiblade]

[?????? ??????]

Do you mean to imply that the English are somehow lesser by comparison!?

[just say NO. MASA.]

[wardance]

no

[ Never did he expect a conversation over deer sex to end up so controversial and dangerous as it has today. ]

[invisiblade]

Good.

[in that case, Masa may just escape this conversation with his life intact.]

I would not tolerate baseless slander against my people.

[wardance]

I would never do a thing like that.
dragons are better than everyone.