text, @TARANTO

[heavyhitter]

ok guys listen i got something i've been thinking about, no one's been able to answer it for me yet
check it out: deer dildos
???
do they use them? it doesn't have to be dildos anything sexy in general, that counts. i'm not buying there's any sentient sexually reproducing species out there that hasn't invented sex toys, so what do deer use. does it have to do with antlers?? i haven't put much thought into deer sex so i'm not working on much here, just tossing out ideas. lemme know, thanks



oh wait one more thing, i really wanna get off this island. i've seen everything and it's boring. these guys suck at technology right? and swimming. oh my god they're so pathetically useless

but WE are way better at both those things! so here's my proposal: we team up and use our evolved smarts and build a floating litter, or popemobile, or something, and get me over to the next island. good, right?? i think we can do it! we got science grandpa AND nerd granduncle running around here, and probably half a dozen other nerds i haven't dug up yet. we can do this. i believe in us. if there's any parties going on on the other islands, let's get me to them.

Comments

text / un: RHY5-W1NZ

[dbag]

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP TALKING ABOUT DEER SEX OH MY GOD

text / un: PARTY

[wardance]

+1

[dbag]

Yeah look at that someone agrees with me ^^^^ I'm right, everyone talking about deer sex is wrong, this isn't hard to grasp.

[wardance]

I think this sort of thing is illegal back home

[dbag]

Uhhh I'm pretty sure it's illegal like EVERYWHERE unless you're in a. I don't know. Lawless deer sex wasteland.

And even then it's probably... heavily frowned upon. By God.

[ and then jesus said, "don't bone the deers, for fuck's sake" ]

[wardance]

maybe it's illegal here too.

[dbag]

Uh I'm pretty sure if it was illegal to do stuff with deer here, there wouldn't be all these kids. Kids? Fawns. ...Devil spawn. Whatever you wanna call them.

[wardance]

i meant interspecies. that's what you meant about it being illegal everywhere

[dbag]

Oh. Yeah, I knew that. Idek if they have other species here, I mean, the only non-furry people I've seen are ALASTAIR. (ACTUALLY, judging by this post, it looks like some of the team are furries, too. Haha... ha.)

Anyway. I'mmmm guessing breaking the law isn't something we're supposed to do, so. It'd be good to know if it's illegal or not. I mean, not for my purposes. You know, for the other people? The sick pervs.

[wardance]

Yes.

But, what are furries?

[dbag]

Oh my god. You don't

You're not serious, are you? Omg you're serious. Okay.

I'm gonna respectfully decline to answer that. Ask someone else. I'm tapping TARANTO in. Ask them.





So...... sand. Am I right???

[wardance]

[ this text is delayed about ten minutes after reading Ana's. ]

OK
yes
s
aN

d

[heavyhitter]

a furry is what you become when you fuck a deer

gotcha covered rhys

[wardance]

h

[heavyhitter]

i'm just making sure we keep our minds sharp with great thought experiments, i'm actually doing us a favor

[dbag]

You're not doing me a favor, you're haunting my nightmares with deer-dildos! If anything they probably NO I'M NOT DOING IT WE'RE NOT DEDUCING WHAT SEX TOYS DEERS USE.

[heavyhitter]

hang on there's been a revision: dildoes

alright carry on what were you saying

[dbag]

........Okay that was good but this whole line of questioning is still unsettling. Why are you asking us, maybe you should go ask them!

Don't ask them.

[heavyhitter]

why not, i bet that old guy at the inn could tell me a lot
old people have the best stories

[dbag]

Okay, you not only want to hear about deer sex, you want to hear about ELDERLY deer sex? I just feel like it's important to clarify. Important distinction.

[heavyhitter]

the more you say the more i hear "guy who needs to expand his horizons"

[dbag]

Soooo are you gonna answer the question or can I just mark you down for "elderly deer sex."

[heavyhitter]

i know what you're getting at and i'm gonna disappoint you. i haven't fucked any deer. for really juicy detail though, talk to 82736775

[dbag]

Okay, wow, that is a very specific denial. I was only thinking about you being a creepy deer voyeur, this is way worse. So... thanks for that mental image, I guess. I'm gonna go wash my eyeballs out with deer-bleach now.

[ IT'S JUST BLEACH... ]

Idk if we're gonna regret getting you to the other islands, but probably? I feel like we are. Anyway, somebody's already come up with ideas to get there, right? I can make them better.

[heavyhitter]

aw tell me if deer-bleach comes with little antlers on the sides of the bottle

also, why, is that your superpower? ability to improve on any idea? good deal