futurology | text; un: shitpost king

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text; un: shitpost king

if anyone can tell me how to get videogames or proper internet on this thing i will do a dare of ur choice and let u record the results for posterity/blackmail/whatever u want

in the meantime i've got way too much time to kill so let's play would you rather

for those of you poor souls who've never known the glory of the internet, it goes like this: someone posts two things (the more ridic the better) and people respond with their decision on which they'd rather do and then come up with their own two things

it ends up with us all judging each other's life and choices and nobody lives happily ever after (◡‿◡✿)

i'll start with something appropriate to our upcoming ~mission~

would you rather...
be eaten by a zombie, or burnt at the stake?

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Come oooon, don't tell me you don't drink.

[don't be a stick in the mud reika!!!!]

It'll be fun.

[ sweating ]

I'm not old enough to, actually. [ Welp. ] And I'm not sure if I can drink it, due to health reasons.

[ Technically other God Eaters do drink, but?? ]

[He's about to go on a whole thing about how literally nobody will give a shit if she drinks underage, it's not like the pocket dimension has ID or a legal age, but then. She mentions the second item.]

...Health reasons?

[He's not a Complete dick, at least.]

[ Thank you, Kagari. ]

I'm... well, I'm a God Eater, and we have biologically modified agents given to us to help us fight the Aragami. Sometimes it can have weird effects, and I'm under an experimental strain, so it's best not to risk any metabolism-related stuff.

[ It's a valid concern to some extent, but she also doesn't want to make it difficult for herself later. What if the beer here reacted weirdly with her Bias Factor? ]

...A God. Eater.

[Does he even want to know.]

That's a hell of a name.

Ah, that's the... international name, used in some parts? But in the Branch I belong to, we usually call ourselves God Arc Users.

[ You know. Localization issues. ]

I don't eat things like that. My weapon does.

[Staring. So much staring.]

Your weapon eats things. [He's torn between finding that awesome and deeply disturbing.]

...Should I have made it dinner, too.

[ IT MAKES SENSE IN CONTEXT OK ]

No, no, it's okay! I really appreciate it, though. [ But explanations are in order... ] I don't have it with me now. It's too dangerous to haul around without proper maintenance equipment.

So is it like, alive? Or an AI or something?

[Nosy question hour with Shuusei Kagari.]

[ sweats... ]

Yeah, it is. It's a sort of cyborg, with organics, I think. It can be temperamental if not maintained properly.

[ Which is why she's not using it. ]

...Shit, they let you have a fuckin' cannibal robot which gets pissy and they couldn't even be assed for my handheld? What the fuck, ALASTAIR.

[#priorities]

[ kanyeshrug.jpg ]

Well, we were looking into making it useable again.

Your world is weird as shit, Reika-chan, and that's coming from me.

[He needs a drink even more now, tbh. He sighs, rooting around the drawers for something to pop the cork on his whiskey with.]

What do you drink, then?

[Please tell him you at least drink soda.]

It is, kinda.

[ But she's not about to dwell on that, so: ]

Juice, mostly. There's bound to be some here...

[Omfg of course....she would pick the most boring possible option.

He likes you a lot, Reika, but sometimes he feels like he's hanging out with the human equivalent of Eeyore when it comes to fun....]

Okay no, it's got to be sparkling lemonade, at least. Your tastebuds will thank me.

[ It's not really her fault?? Sparkling juice is very rare back home. ]

Thank you.

[ Well, she's thanked him already. ]

Oh my god, I wasn't being literal.

[ She just gives him an awkward smile in lieu of a reply before opening a cupboard and trying to look for something reasonable inside of it.

Though since she doesn't really know what sparkling lemonade is, it might not show up. ]

[He gives her about two minutes, and then he sighs--]

Look, I'll do it. Get glasses instead?

[At least those are easy to find/magic up....]

Thanks.

[ Glasses are easy. Soon enough she's found two, and sets them on the counter. ]

Are you gonna thank me every time I do something?

[I am feel uncomfortable we are ~~not~~ about me]

Well, you helped me. But if you don't want me to, I won't.

[ It's just natural to her. ]

You've thanked me five times in the last twenty minutes, Reika-chan.

[THAT'S 2 MANY]

We can consider those as a catch-all for the rest of the day.

Sure.

[ It's an unusual request, but hey. ]

So... drinks?

Drinks.

[Too bad u won't get wasted with him .... that would've been more fun. But at least there's still video games together. And drunk video games are always fun.

He pours the individual drinks in their glasses, then raises his in a toast--]

To....life being weird, I guess. [And lowers it, before bringing the glass to his lips]

Bottom's up.

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p66 - 2017-02-23 11:49 (UTC) - Expand

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