Shuusei Kagari (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hedonistic) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
futurology2017-06-17 07:06 pm
hedonistic) wrote in futurology2017-06-17 07:06 pm
text; un: shitpost king
ok listen up, this is actually legitimately important
if this is your first time getting locked up like this, you need to understand one main thing going forward: our lives are less than worthless to these people. every second we're still breathing is a second more than they needed to give us.
i can't promise that we're going to be okay. i don't know if ALASTAIR gives enough of a shit to come for us. but even though i'm not gonna be the guy who has a lot of pretty words to say to keep hope alive or whatever, i do know a few things about staying safe in here. surviving, if this is for the long haul
1) don't make a fuss or be a nuisance to the guards. don't draw attention. the more forgettable you are, the better off you'll be
2) try to avoid using your jewel comms as much as you can. if they realize we're communicating through these, they'll be confiscated
3) DON'T TRY TO BE A HERO. this is the most important point here so i'm gonna repeat it, DO NOT TRY TO BE A FUCKING HERO.
we're not in a fucking action movie, trying to escape or break everyone out will get you in deep ass shit, maybe even made an example out of. don't fucking do it.
if this is your first time getting locked up like this, you need to understand one main thing going forward: our lives are less than worthless to these people. every second we're still breathing is a second more than they needed to give us.
i can't promise that we're going to be okay. i don't know if ALASTAIR gives enough of a shit to come for us. but even though i'm not gonna be the guy who has a lot of pretty words to say to keep hope alive or whatever, i do know a few things about staying safe in here. surviving, if this is for the long haul
1) don't make a fuss or be a nuisance to the guards. don't draw attention. the more forgettable you are, the better off you'll be
2) try to avoid using your jewel comms as much as you can. if they realize we're communicating through these, they'll be confiscated
3) DON'T TRY TO BE A HERO. this is the most important point here so i'm gonna repeat it, DO NOT TRY TO BE A FUCKING HERO.
we're not in a fucking action movie, trying to escape or break everyone out will get you in deep ass shit, maybe even made an example out of. don't fucking do it.
WOW Y I K E S!!!
Ah, he's no better, though. A little jumpy, a little nervous. A guilty conscious, weighing him down. ]
I am not a hero. Nor do I have to be, to promise you this.
[ He is a traitor. A liar. There is nothing heroic about him, badly as he wishes that there was. He repeats, drawing near: ]
I won't let harm come to you.
he's Not Okay
[It comes out a bark, sharp and angry. There's another layer of irony here; he's always craved having people to care about him and accept him regardless of who and what he is. He found that, among his fellow Enforcers, the rest of society's garbage heap, but found himself sorely lacking in Audentes. And yet, someone offers it to him unconditionally, and it burns at his insides like hellfire.]
You won't let anything bad happen to me? What if something happens to you, dumbass?
[He's probably one of those types. The ones like Akane, ready to bleed their own souls dry for something stupid like finding the reason for their existence.
Kagari stands up, then, looks Ninurrta dead in the eyes. He still has that wild look about him, but there's a renewed steel there, too.]
Your life is the only thing in the world that's ever really yours. Don't be willing to hand it over so freely.
no subject
I have no intention of letting myself come to harm either. I wouldn't be able to keep my word, if it did.
[ There is someone else depending on him, as well. ]
no subject
[He scowls, dark and ugly.]
Think real hard before you say "yes."
no subject
[ Kagari might scowl, but he doesn't flinch from it - or the question. ]
This is one of the only things I can give you - please, don't look for a way to diminish its worth.
no subject
He'd like to say, I don't want it, but he can't quite get it past his throat. He's tired. He only has so much strength to fight when their situation has already swept away most of it.
Kagari heaves out a sigh.]
Fine, have at it, then.
...But for the record, it's not mutual. I'd let you die in a heartbeat, if it meant I'd survive.
[It's not exactly an inaccurate statement, necessarily, but it's bitten out a bit more cruelly than necessary.]
Just so you know what kind of trash you're making these grand declarations of protection to.
no subject
If he dies, he does so in his own world. That is his resolve; that is what he owes his realm. ]
Neither do I ask for reciprocation. We're all doing our best to protect one another - even you.
no subject
What do you want from me?, he'd like to ask, but he realizes with an almost sickening clarity that the answer would be nothing, or effectively nothing, and he's struggling with his temper in this moment as it is.]
Look, I know you're trying real hard to convince yourself that I'm a Good Person so doing this isn't completely stupid, but you're really just wasting your time.
[He sighs, flopping back on the bed and pointedly staring at the tiles to avoid looking at his cellmate directly.]
But hey, it's not like I can stop you. So whatever.
no subject
[ He knows his name only because of roll call. There had never been an opportunity before the heist or their incarceration to learn it, and he speaks it now. Sharp. Authoritative, if only because he wants this young man's direct attention. Don't look away from him, as though you've said all that needs to be said! ]
Don't assume you know my motives, or my mind. You're not an idiot, and you're not blind.
[ He points. From Kagari's forehead, to his own. To the symbols upon them. ]
There's little need to continue to view yourself as the only pariah among us.
no subject
Instead, there's just a soft cackling sound from Kagari, his shoulders gently shaking in mirth. He sits back upright, finally, leaning up against the cell wall, legs crossed. There's an ugliness to the smirk he wears.]
Man, you really are something, Ninu-san. Can I call you that? I'm gonna call you that.
[Mostly because he might have a little difficulty with the last syllable, and it'd take away from what he has to say.]
A pariah, hah. Are you kidding me? You're perfect for this team.
[Despite the bitterness to that comment, it's not entirely derisive. Sure, he can't stand some of the people in Audentes, the ones that shove their moral superiority in everyone's face whenever they disagree with anyone. He finds the group as a whole frustrating and unrealistic. But it makes sense in an awful sort of way. It's fitting. Sybil told him a long time ago that he didn't belong with society, amongst the good wholesome citizens of Japan, and then he fell through a rift and proved it by being the nail that sticks up in a team full of do-gooders and bleeding hearts.]
I know your type. You're just like a girl I know back home. All kind and gentle and sweet, full of all this hope about the good you want to do for the universe.
[And despite his poorly-concealed anger, there's a thread of affection there, too. For all his huffing and puffing, he misses Akane more than he would ever admit.]
I bet you jumped at the thought of going around saving timelines and universes. Being useful, making a difference. Maybe even finding the reason why you were brought into existence, huh? Come on, tell me I'm wrong.
no subject
No, I don't believe that I am.
[ It aches, to admit such a thing. To denounce the idea that he is a kind boy, a gentle boy. A hopeful one. To be compared to such a girl, even briefly - to be thought of in such a light - he craves it. He wants to sink his teeth into that feeling and clutch it tight, to harvest whatever fleeting affection Kagari is giving him. Even if it is because he is the ghost of the shell of the memory of this girl.
But, he's not. ]
I am doing this, because this is the only thing I have left. I am either of use to Audentes, or I am -- I am nothing.
[ He says "nothing" the way some might say "dead". ]
no subject
It actually takes him a minute to catch his breath, and he rakes a hand through his hair, a few final incredulous huffs slipping out. It's surreal, this entire moment. He thinks he sees it right now, the distinction between someone like him and a "good" person. No wonder Sybil said there was no chance for rehabilitation, honestly.]
Wow. Incredible.
[He actually slow claps, like an utter douchebag.]
I take it back. You're not just like Akane-chan, you're even more hopeless.
[A shake of his head]
Really, I wonder what that sentence sounds like in your head. "I want to save universes because otherwise there's no point living. I'm such a selfish, terrible person for caring about literally the entire multiverse. It's not like my own happiness matters, or anything."
You know what happens to me, if I stop being useful, back home? I go to a place like this, except every cell's solitary. The only way I stay out is by putting other people there.
[The smirk sharpens, and he tilts his head challengingly.]
So why don't you tell me more about how we're entirely on the same level.
no subject
This boy reminds him of Just, and the resemblance brings him just enough terror and nausea that he has to sit on the edge of his bunk, unable to stop his knees from quaking - unwilling to allow Kagari to gain any more ground with these accusations and wicked words. ]
We're not the same. I never said that you and I were the same - only that you were not the sole pariah.
[ Those his tone is frigid, his resolve has not weakened -- ]
I will never know who you were, in that world you came from. You will never know who I was, in mine. So, we may continue to discuss this - you may continue to challenge me, but my word stands: I will ensure your safety. There is no alternative. Judging you by your words, Kagari - you know the same to be true.
Either you are what you were born for, or you are nothing.
no subject
Poor, stupid kid. He'd be willing to let him take it back, if it wouldn't be a waste of time to offer. Maybe he'll realize his mistake before it's too late.]
Maybe I'm not, but if you think you're one of them because you're desperate to prove your usefulness, you fit in even better than I thought you did.
[He scoffs, derisively]
But hey, I'm not in any huge rush to die, and like I said, it's not like I can stop you from trying to protect me. Here's hoping you don't come to regret it, eh?
[He cushions his head against his arms, then, and leans up against the wall, one leg crossing over the other. He wears his grin like he's in on some big secret Ninurrta isn't, offering a grin that's infuriatingly knowing.]
I'll tell you something though, Ninu-san. Sometimes? People are born to be nothing. It's not so bad, you know.
[When you'll be worthless to society regardless, it doesn't matter what you do or don't do. If that's the only freedom he'll ever have, he'll take it.]
Kind of nice, even, when you get used to it.
[A wink]
Food for thought.