text; un: shitpost king

[hedonistic]

if anyone can tell me how to get videogames or proper internet on this thing i will do a dare of ur choice and let u record the results for posterity/blackmail/whatever u want

in the meantime i've got way too much time to kill so let's play would you rather

for those of you poor souls who've never known the glory of the internet, it goes like this: someone posts two things (the more ridic the better) and people respond with their decision on which they'd rather do and then come up with their own two things

it ends up with us all judging each other's life and choices and nobody lives happily ever after (◡‿◡✿)

i'll start with something appropriate to our upcoming ~mission~

would you rather...
be eaten by a zombie, or burnt at the stake?

Comments

text; un: man of still

[figureitout]

the stake, obviously, i mean which one do you think people are gonna remember, another zombie victim or a possible witch? wizard, if we're going harry potter style, but anyway.

[hedonistic]

there's a certain irony about saying that in the middle of a magic fantasy jrpg castle but fair enough
tho hp wizards are boring for this question, they don't even die when u burn them

[What with the whole FLOO POWDER and FIREPLACES and i'm just assuming kagari got his hands on this series in e-format at some point bc he knows star wars and jjba and also fight me.]

[figureitout]

...... okay, point.

besides, I'm not really sold on the whole idea, I mean, most people with magic can control flames or cast a spell that freezes them or stuff like that, so the whole principle of "okay that's totally a witch let's BURN THEM" is kinda flawed

not that I'm endorsing coming up with more ideas, #freethewitches2kforever I guess

[hedonistic]

hahaha yeah that is not something the witch burners thought through
tho maybe it's like the whole wicked witch I'M MMMELTINGGGGG thing
except with fire
or just a convenient way to kill people u don't like without getting in trouble maybe lmfao
all u gotta do is convince people that someone's a threat to Public Safety and boom they'll agree to anything

[this is not personal salt AT ALL pay no mind to the man behind the curtain stiles shh SHHHHH]

[figureitout]

yeah, maybe

hey, man, you said it. literally all people need is for you to be different somehow, scare them in some way and bam, that's it, they'll hunt you down or lock you up

it's shit but the world's shit in general so I guess it keeps with the theme

[ he's definitely, definitely paying attention. he just also happens to agree with the salt... ]

[hedonistic]

holy shit pinch me
i might actually start believing someone didn't give me the hearts and rainbows "see the best in people" lecture just now, otherwise d(ゝ∀･)

[figureitout]

dude, I'd never do that

mostly because usually there's not much to see when you're looking to see the best in people, I mean, let's be real here. guess some people just missed the memo

[hedonistic]

[gasp

has he found...a kindred saltine spirit?]

lmao
nah, they just never noticed how rosy their glasses are
and get super offended when u point it out

[figureitout]

[ YOU GOT IT ]

which seems like a great way to go about life, constantly lying to yourself about what it's really like and not even realizing that you're doing it

I mean I guess it also brings with it less anxiety and frustration but still

[hedonistic]

no man if you're frustrated and anxious ur doing it wrong
it's way better to just lower ur expectations
that way
u never get disappointed
plus sometimes u meet a special snowflake exception to the people suck rule
so it gets to be like a rolling a natural 20 instead of the rest of humanity being a series of critical fails

[figureitout]

yeah no my anxiety has nothing to do with this, it's kind of a constant state of being

but that's a good strategy, man, I like you

[hedonistic]

that sucks, bro

on the bright side
at least u have good taste (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[figureitout]

nah you kinda get used to it
besides, it's useful, when your anxiety levels are through the roof already stuff like impending zombie apocalypse doesn't feel all that bad

well obviously ( -_・)
by the way, I gotta compliment you on a well-chosen un, finally someone's got a name that's both creative and spot-on

[hedonistic]

aww thanks
i mean, it's no I CAN BE UR DADDY but
i did my best ☆～（ゝ。∂）

[figureitout]

oh my god don't even talk about that
I mean it'll go down in history but not the good kind of history

[hedonistic]

oh dear, am i picking up on some subtle kinkshaming here
i thought audentes was more evolved than that

[It's probably a good thing that a.) this is text and b.) that laughing isn't easily transcribed via thought-typing, because lord almighty he's not sure he could've said that with a straight face out loud.]

[figureitout]

nope, no kinkshaming

just asher-shaming, your regularly scheduled pastime

[ IM SORRY ASHER ]

[hedonistic]

ah yes of course
the time-honored tradition, how could i forget

[figureitout]

I know right

it'll go down in history
the most important thing anyone will find going through all the discussions on our magitek

[hedonistic]

future generations will fall through space rifts, get on the fake internet, and find the Tales of Asher
and in so doing become Enlightened

[figureitout]

I can't believe that's the legacy we're leaving the future generations

but I mean
I guess it could be worse

[hedonistic]

no look, we're doing future space refugees a solid here
we're educating them on What Not To Do with your username
someone will be thinking about logging in for the first time, maybe wanting to put in something stupid as a joke, and then they'll Remember daddykink guy
we're saving them from themselves

[figureitout]

that's fair
a good point

so actually
Asher's the one who has provided the future rift-fallers with the greatest favor so far

[hedonistic]

yes
a truly noble sacrifice of his dignity
we thank u for ur service, daddy-san (◡‿◡✿)