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video | username: xXx_trueblue_xXx

[ with the new mission on the horizon, and a rather desperate need to keep busy and distracted, lance has decided to put together this informational psa for all those who may benefit from it.

so. like. maybe two of you. ]

Yo! So with Woodhurst coming 'round the corner, many of you probably haven't had the chance to brush up on all six films of the Brawn of the Dead series but that's okay! Your resident Zombie Apocalypse Expert is here to help you out.

[ he's watched pretty much all the zombie films available on earth, ok, he's practically a PhD. ]

While it's pretty much impossible to gain my level of expertise in the single week we have left, I managed to break down the most important things to remember during a Zombie Apocalypse. [ complete with handy, dandy infographics! (blame whoever got them the drawing app ok.) ]

Lesson one! The buddy system.

ALASTAIR's got it right with their advice. Anyone who's ever seen a movie about characters being hunted by something can tell you right off the bat that the second you decide to go solo? YA DEAD. Total rookie mistake! Don't do it, don't even think about it, don't even think about thinking about it. Doesn't matter how slow the zombies are, or how many of them there are. Always have a buddy with you. And honestly? You're not gonna wanna go through any of this alone anyway.

If no one's coming to mind, just give me a call. My name's Lance, and I'm gonna be a college student there, and those guys never need reasons to be anyplace weird anyway.

Lesson two! Weapons.

Standard zombie movie weapons tend to be something light, hand-held, easy to hook onto your belt or carry around in a bag. Guns are okay, but unless you have unlimited ammo, it's a better idea to also have something that doesn't need replenishing. But remember we're also trying to blend in here, so busting our your swords and magic might not be what you wanna do... but also who cares when it's just you, an empty alleyway, and the not-so-dead. Tire irons are a classic, also kitchen knives, but it's important to remember: anything's a weapon if you can throw it hard enough.

And finally, lesson three — [ there isn't an infographic for this one. this time it's just lance, staring straight into the camera, the mood of the video suddenly quite serious and somber. ] — this is all real.

[ he shifts a little, uneasy. ]

I know the mission's primary objective is to contain this thing, keep it from spreading. And we should definitely do all we can to make sure it affects as few people as possible... but these are real people, you know? Real people, with real lives... real families. None of our objectives are for finding a cure, but man do we have some real smart people on this team. Real smart. And, like, magic, you know? Magic and science and all that stuff, from all over the universes. If you have that many people, from all these different backgrounds, with all these different skills then it has to be possible, right? That's just... that's math. So with magic and science and math on our sides, there's no way we can fail.

[ he got away from his point a little, so he backtracks into it. ]

What I'm saying is — be careful. Do what you gotta do, but if there's a way for you to save them so we can one day cure them, then... do that too. [ the please goes unspoken, but the sentiment is definitely there.

after a moment, he seems to bolster himself back up to the energy he'd had when he began. ]

And that's it! Questions? Thoughts? Apples for the teacher? [ ;D ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(( will i ever not be 400 comments late to a network post ))

Thank you very much for this informative announcement. [ She means it... It's questionable whether she has any knowledge of zombies to begin with, seeing as the deceased in her world don't leave behind corpses to begin with. ]

...It sounds like a difficult task without open use of magic. Do you know what other methods of detainment there might be?

Hey, you're welcome! [ he puffs up a little. look, someone who appreciates his hard work. :') ]

So that Skywalker dude earlier mentioned using stuff usually used for containing riots and junk. But I'd say if it's just you around, or your magic isn't that noticeable, or you have no other choice [ anakin would disagree with that last bit but, shhhh ] then you should definitely go for it!

[ Well, it is a lot of work moderating something like this! In her opinion, anyway, as she isn't much of a public speaker. ]

Yes, I suppose it'll depend on the situation... [ A small sigh, ] Unfortunately my magic isn't very subtle, but I'll do my best to hide it as needed.

[ Also, she'd rather not have to talk about killing them, but she can't avoid it either: ] I did hear that these zombies can be quickly eliminated by applying destructive force to the skull... Are they pretty similar to Deemers, then? Without the 'queen', that is.

[ Mindless creatures, once human... ]

Uh... In regards to durability? They're more similar to humans. [ a beat. ] Because they are humans.

But I guess you could put it that way. Both kind of lose their sense of self, but Deemers had someone else at the helm, controlling them. In this case, they'd have no control of anything. Just a hunger they have to feed.

(( also gomen asldjfskjd this is prolly gonna be a short convo SHE'S BAD AT TALKING... ))

Right...

[ It's no less unsettling to think of them in latter terms. (She's almost reminded of the demonic possessions that had happened during Chantes, but even then, the hosts had still had plenty of their functions left to them, their memories, too.)

In short: No, she's really not prepared for this. The Deemers were perhaps an introductory course, but dealing with living zombies in unfamiliar territory, while trying to blend in at the same time... It certainly presents a new challenge. ]

...I'm not sure what else to ask right now, to be honest. [ It's always different seeing a mission on paper versus being in the middle of it... ] But thank you for your time. I do appreciate it.

[ his expression softens a little. while he may not be able to see her face, he can hear some of the hesitation and uncertainty in her voice.

probably because he'd spent a good few minutes wallowing in it himself.

but lance had always been pretty quick to bounce himself back up. luckily for him, he doesn't mind helping others along. ]

Hey, not a problem. If anything comes to mind, you give ol' Lance here a call, okay?

[ and, because it always helps to have a soundboard, as well as put your mind off things for a while, he asks, ]

How's your cover story coming along?

If that's all right with you. [ it's a very... distinct username anyhow, she can probably pick it right off the directory from all the x's alone ]

My cover story? Well, I must admit I'm a bit stuck...

[ how do normal teenagers/young adults live in a normal world...????? ] Have you got yours already figured out?

[ maybe he'll have a few ideas, he seems so on-top of things...! ]

Yeah, I've got most of the big stuff worked out, now I just have to fine tune the details. But I'm thinking a university student, so that'll get me access to the university there. And maybe a part-time job in delivery, since that'll give me an excuse to be in random places, and of course keep contact with the rest of you. Annnnd obviously gotta have a big family unit, because the buddy system is important!

That sounds exciting. I've never been to university... Though I was thinking I'd perhaps try something along the line of athletics.

—What will you be delivering? [ newspapers? pizzas? ]

Yes, of course. It's dangerous to go alone. [ ~~take this~~ ]

Haaaaaaaven't really decided on the delivery part yet. [ he was hoping to be a kissing telegram, but peter kinda shot that idea down... darn him. ]

But sports, huh? Is that something you're familiar with?

[ a kissing telegram... lance pls... ]

Well... [ if he needs a few ideas, she'll reiterate the above: ] As far as I understand there's delivery for newspapers, pizzas... [ ...'babies', suggests google search, that's not helpful at all ] Special shipments...

[ 'flowers' does not spring to mind, yet... ]

Not particularly, at least not team sports. I was thinking something more individual.

[ what... everyone wins... ]

Yeah, it shouldn't be too difficult. Like you said, there'll be loads of them to choose from. I may just wait till we get there.

[ let's focus on you instead!! ]

Well, what kind of sports have you done?

[ do they though...

and wow what a diversion!!!! (she falls for it.)

...also jrpg mini-games don't exactly count as sports......... ]

To be honest, I'm more of a fighter than an actual athlete... But I did watch a few videos using the magitek, and found something that I've done before at home.

[ ...she's suddenly embarrassed about her choice, if only because she is in no way a performer... (skating for fun on frozen ponds in the winter is nothing like competing as a professional in any capacity...) ] ...Have you heard of 'figure skating'?

[ she only asks because she knows that modern sports don't necessarily exist in all worlds... ]

Yeah, for sure!

[ he sounds quite excited about it, actually, but really only because she's taking initiative here, and that's always a good sign for going into a mission. ]

You've done it before? I prefer water wet, myself, but it's totally a thing, yeah. We'll be heading in during that place's winter, too, so you'd have plenty of opportunities with it, I bet.

[ so supportive!! what a good... ]

I have, back home. There's much I'll still need to learn, but I think it'll be quite fun.

[ different from the usual, if anything...! ]

Yeah! I mean there's no harm in having a little fun with this, especially while we're given the chance. But hey — don't forget about the buddy system, okay? Make sure you set yourself up with a nice buddy or group so you never have to be alone.

(( I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO SEND OUT SO FEW WORDS OMG ))

Of course.

Thanks again for your help.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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