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video | username: xXx_trueblue_xXx

[ with the new mission on the horizon, and a rather desperate need to keep busy and distracted, lance has decided to put together this informational psa for all those who may benefit from it.

so. like. maybe two of you. ]

Yo! So with Woodhurst coming 'round the corner, many of you probably haven't had the chance to brush up on all six films of the Brawn of the Dead series but that's okay! Your resident Zombie Apocalypse Expert is here to help you out.

[ he's watched pretty much all the zombie films available on earth, ok, he's practically a PhD. ]

While it's pretty much impossible to gain my level of expertise in the single week we have left, I managed to break down the most important things to remember during a Zombie Apocalypse. [ complete with handy, dandy infographics! (blame whoever got them the drawing app ok.) ]

Lesson one! The buddy system.

ALASTAIR's got it right with their advice. Anyone who's ever seen a movie about characters being hunted by something can tell you right off the bat that the second you decide to go solo? YA DEAD. Total rookie mistake! Don't do it, don't even think about it, don't even think about thinking about it. Doesn't matter how slow the zombies are, or how many of them there are. Always have a buddy with you. And honestly? You're not gonna wanna go through any of this alone anyway.

If no one's coming to mind, just give me a call. My name's Lance, and I'm gonna be a college student there, and those guys never need reasons to be anyplace weird anyway.

Lesson two! Weapons.

Standard zombie movie weapons tend to be something light, hand-held, easy to hook onto your belt or carry around in a bag. Guns are okay, but unless you have unlimited ammo, it's a better idea to also have something that doesn't need replenishing. But remember we're also trying to blend in here, so busting our your swords and magic might not be what you wanna do... but also who cares when it's just you, an empty alleyway, and the not-so-dead. Tire irons are a classic, also kitchen knives, but it's important to remember: anything's a weapon if you can throw it hard enough.

And finally, lesson three — [ there isn't an infographic for this one. this time it's just lance, staring straight into the camera, the mood of the video suddenly quite serious and somber. ] — this is all real.

[ he shifts a little, uneasy. ]

I know the mission's primary objective is to contain this thing, keep it from spreading. And we should definitely do all we can to make sure it affects as few people as possible... but these are real people, you know? Real people, with real lives... real families. None of our objectives are for finding a cure, but man do we have some real smart people on this team. Real smart. And, like, magic, you know? Magic and science and all that stuff, from all over the universes. If you have that many people, from all these different backgrounds, with all these different skills then it has to be possible, right? That's just... that's math. So with magic and science and math on our sides, there's no way we can fail.

[ he got away from his point a little, so he backtracks into it. ]

What I'm saying is — be careful. Do what you gotta do, but if there's a way for you to save them so we can one day cure them, then... do that too. [ the please goes unspoken, but the sentiment is definitely there.

after a moment, he seems to bolster himself back up to the energy he'd had when he began. ]

And that's it! Questions? Thoughts? Apples for the teacher? [ ;D ]

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That sounds useful!

[ does everybody in Audentes have weapons like that? though maybe it's a good thing... after all, they are expected to fight. ]

... ehhh, do you really think that would work? Pepper spray, really? I'm sure it's not bad when you want to get away from [ the authorities, anyone chasing after you, unwanted male attention ] normal people, but in this case?

Maybe stick with the rifle.

We don't know what'll really work on them. If we can avoid killing or seriously injuring, shouldn't we?

Of course! I don't think we should kill any of them unless we have to. But it's just stupid to expect something that barely incapacitates someone without any extra powers to work on someone driven by only hunger. Have you even been starving, Lance-kun? Gone days without food, so hungry you could kill someone just to be able to have a bite?

[ her voice is calm, collected, but it's clear she's 110% serious. ]

Humans can get like that from starvation, and that is with their mental faculties still as their own. If this virus removes the capability to think rationally? If your first thought when encountering an infected one is not to hurt them, you're as good as dead.

[ lance makes a face, looking away. ]

I mean... that's fair, but.

[ but he doesn't feel good about telling people it's okay to think of hurting others.

he rubs at the back of his neck. ]

Maybe we should be smarter about this. Pair people off who can't really fight with those who can. Cover our bases to end up with the least amount of casualties and damage as possible. We have a week, right? It shouldn't be too hard at all.

... I know. It isn't a nice thought, to have to hurt people who've done nothing to deserve what's happened to them. But you won't be any use to the mission dead.

[ it isn't something to feel good about — so many things in life you can't feel good about, but you have to go through with them regardless. that's called survival. ]

Hm, that is a good idea... we should make sure no one who doesn't know how to defend themselves goes out alone, or with someone else like that. In the future, we could pair those who need to be close to their opponent and those who can strike them from a distance, too.

Yeah... it'd be good to get an idea of what kind of fighters we actually have. Or if they're fighters at all. I know some people have done some broadcasts before, asking about skills and such. But if we framed it in this way, it'd be easier for us to know what we're lacking as a team.

Yes, but we've got many new recruits since then... and besides, I think the one from before was more about what we could teach each other, rather than listing our fighting skills.

Hm, I wonder if it would be possible to make a board of sorts. We could have lists for long-range fighters, short-range fighters, those with magic, those who know how to heal, the scientifically-inclined, the ones who are good at reconnaissance... everyone could add their name to the right column, and we would instantly have groups available for different missions.

Hey, that sounds like a great idea! A team's only as good as its members, and if we don't even know what our members can do, what use are we?

You think it'd be easy to set it up? Should we try for this mission or do you think it'd be too late?

That's true! The most important thing for a team, outside of being able to trust everyone... is to know your own role, and the role of others.

[ if they don't even know who to ask for help if they need it... this mission is doomed to fail. ]

Of course it's not too late!! We could even set it up once we arrive there.

[ this conversation is quite ironic considering their later one... ]

Sounds like a plan, then!

[ but we both just did posts celen... pls... ]

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