futurology | video | username: xXx_trueblue_xXx

Skip to Main Content

Entry tags:

video | username: xXx_trueblue_xXx

[ with the new mission on the horizon, and a rather desperate need to keep busy and distracted, lance has decided to put together this informational psa for all those who may benefit from it.

so. like. maybe two of you. ]

Yo! So with Woodhurst coming 'round the corner, many of you probably haven't had the chance to brush up on all six films of the Brawn of the Dead series but that's okay! Your resident Zombie Apocalypse Expert is here to help you out.

[ he's watched pretty much all the zombie films available on earth, ok, he's practically a PhD. ]

While it's pretty much impossible to gain my level of expertise in the single week we have left, I managed to break down the most important things to remember during a Zombie Apocalypse. [ complete with handy, dandy infographics! (blame whoever got them the drawing app ok.) ]

Lesson one! The buddy system.

ALASTAIR's got it right with their advice. Anyone who's ever seen a movie about characters being hunted by something can tell you right off the bat that the second you decide to go solo? YA DEAD. Total rookie mistake! Don't do it, don't even think about it, don't even think about thinking about it. Doesn't matter how slow the zombies are, or how many of them there are. Always have a buddy with you. And honestly? You're not gonna wanna go through any of this alone anyway.

If no one's coming to mind, just give me a call. My name's Lance, and I'm gonna be a college student there, and those guys never need reasons to be anyplace weird anyway.

Lesson two! Weapons.

Standard zombie movie weapons tend to be something light, hand-held, easy to hook onto your belt or carry around in a bag. Guns are okay, but unless you have unlimited ammo, it's a better idea to also have something that doesn't need replenishing. But remember we're also trying to blend in here, so busting our your swords and magic might not be what you wanna do... but also who cares when it's just you, an empty alleyway, and the not-so-dead. Tire irons are a classic, also kitchen knives, but it's important to remember: anything's a weapon if you can throw it hard enough.

And finally, lesson three — [ there isn't an infographic for this one. this time it's just lance, staring straight into the camera, the mood of the video suddenly quite serious and somber. ] — this is all real.

[ he shifts a little, uneasy. ]

I know the mission's primary objective is to contain this thing, keep it from spreading. And we should definitely do all we can to make sure it affects as few people as possible... but these are real people, you know? Real people, with real lives... real families. None of our objectives are for finding a cure, but man do we have some real smart people on this team. Real smart. And, like, magic, you know? Magic and science and all that stuff, from all over the universes. If you have that many people, from all these different backgrounds, with all these different skills then it has to be possible, right? That's just... that's math. So with magic and science and math on our sides, there's no way we can fail.

[ he got away from his point a little, so he backtracks into it. ]

What I'm saying is — be careful. Do what you gotta do, but if there's a way for you to save them so we can one day cure them, then... do that too. [ the please goes unspoken, but the sentiment is definitely there.

after a moment, he seems to bolster himself back up to the energy he'd had when he began. ]

And that's it! Questions? Thoughts? Apples for the teacher? [ ;D ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( she bites her lip... and redirects this conversation for the moment. )

Lance, what are school uniforms like in America?

If it's public school? Usually non-existent.

[ you ain't smooth chihiro ]

When we get there, tell me your school schedule. I should be able to escort you for at least one of those times. We can find other people for the others.

... I have to go clothes shopping?!

( sounding mildly distressed here LANCE... WHAT DO KIDS WEAR IN AMERICAN SCHOOLS IN THE 90S )

... I will. Once I know what the schedule is like. Do these schools have clubs? Or cram schools? Or... is there classroom clean up time?

[ omg you came to the right guy HE'LL DRESS U UP REAL GUD GURL ]

Don't worry about it, the 90's were easy. But, uh. As far as I know..? No. There are some after school stuff that you can be a part of, though.

Yeah, but that costs money! I'm pretty sure no one pays a ten year old all that much to do things.

( please explain mowing people's lawns to her for pocket change, or paper routes... both which, uh.

... okay, are a problem, she'd be on her own again. )

Mm, but it's not required, right? Only I guess... are we supposed to be everywhere keeping an eye out in case the virus is spreading where it's not noticed?

Then you shack up with someone who's got money!

[ wait, that is not good advice to give an impressionable child— ]

I mean you shouldn't be living on your own anyway. It'll raise too much suspicion. Do you have anyone you can stay with to post as your parent or older sibling or something?

( lance is that even LEGAL )

Uhm, kind of? Though you're being a little silly. Most of the team I'd have to say adopted me.

( silly Lance, clearly she can only pull the parents/siblings thing off with fellow Japanese. (no, she does know better, hence talking about adoption, but it still makes her squirm. fake or not, parents? she has two. and they are perfectly, wonderfully hers, and Japanese, and she does not want to trade them for anyone. not even for fake. )

Aunts or Uncles would be better.

[ he waves his hands around. ]

You think I don't know about that?

[ look at him, chihiro. at least you have fellow japanese to work with. he's alone alone. ]

But fine, sure, whatever works for you. Adoption's still a lot less suspicious than a ten year old living by herself.

( strangely enough, that actually has her laughing and relaxing. )

Duh. We're in modern times now!

[ he quirks a brow at her, but he's definitely amused too. ]

Listen to you, sounding all 90's already. Maybe you don't need my expertise after all!

( ah, and she's laughing again. )

It's only 2001 where I'm from! Pretty much everything I remember is the 90's, Lance!

Yeah, yeah, but you're also like. Two.

I was two.

In my 1993.

Aha! So I'm right.

[ ??? does he even remember his point. ]

How old were you in your 1993?

[ omg don't force me to timestamp this series ]

That's besides the point!

( BUT!!! )

Only 'cause you dodged it.

( on her end she's nodding LMASD yes. that's why it's besides the point. well played. )

[ it actually takes him a moment to get it. ]

...Well played.

( she grins and giggles. )

Thank you.

[Oh--don't mind this guy he's just going to be wedging in here about now. Mostly because he hadn't thought about it until catching sight of this conversation, but ah that's right though...for somebody like Chihiro...]

Hey, so you think you might need somebody to hang out with after classes and stuff? I could probably walk you back to wherever it is you end up staying, if you want. [DONT GO IT ALONE SMALL FRIEND.....]

I wouldn't want to be an imposition, Shizuo-san... but that would be a good idea.

( she huffs out a small sigh, mostly frustrated because this is still going to be culture shock, and terribly contagious viruses, and a new school? All at once. She hadn't expected she'd finally get to do the school thing.

... HOW ARE HER MARKS GOING TO LOOK? )

Nah, wouldn't be an imposition at all. I'm pretty sure, anyway. Actually, I haven't really settled on what I'm doing when we get over there yet, but maybe I'll check out any jobs close to the school. That'd make things pretty easy. [Ah...squints at her thoughtfully through the feed now....] You'd be in...what, grade school probably? How old are you, actually?

[Isn't she like, eleven...??? Probably around the same age as Akane, Shizuo had figured, since they're about the same size. But who even knows how that translates to American schools...talk about a culture shock for sure, yeah.

BUT LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE CHIHIRO, AT LEAST YOUR MARKS WONT. UH. MATTER IN THE LONG RUN HERE...?]

Ten, almost eleven. Or I should be. Do birthdays count here?

( it gives her something of a headache, all these details. )

What I read made it seem like I'd be in... Fifth Grade, just like Fifth Level. So in grad school, yeah.

( HER MARKS WILL MATTER FOR A LONG TIME IN HER HEART??? )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only