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video | username: xXx_trueblue_xXx

[ with the new mission on the horizon, and a rather desperate need to keep busy and distracted, lance has decided to put together this informational psa for all those who may benefit from it.

so. like. maybe two of you. ]

Yo! So with Woodhurst coming 'round the corner, many of you probably haven't had the chance to brush up on all six films of the Brawn of the Dead series but that's okay! Your resident Zombie Apocalypse Expert is here to help you out.

[ he's watched pretty much all the zombie films available on earth, ok, he's practically a PhD. ]

While it's pretty much impossible to gain my level of expertise in the single week we have left, I managed to break down the most important things to remember during a Zombie Apocalypse. [ complete with handy, dandy infographics! (blame whoever got them the drawing app ok.) ]

Lesson one! The buddy system.

ALASTAIR's got it right with their advice. Anyone who's ever seen a movie about characters being hunted by something can tell you right off the bat that the second you decide to go solo? YA DEAD. Total rookie mistake! Don't do it, don't even think about it, don't even think about thinking about it. Doesn't matter how slow the zombies are, or how many of them there are. Always have a buddy with you. And honestly? You're not gonna wanna go through any of this alone anyway.

If no one's coming to mind, just give me a call. My name's Lance, and I'm gonna be a college student there, and those guys never need reasons to be anyplace weird anyway.

Lesson two! Weapons.

Standard zombie movie weapons tend to be something light, hand-held, easy to hook onto your belt or carry around in a bag. Guns are okay, but unless you have unlimited ammo, it's a better idea to also have something that doesn't need replenishing. But remember we're also trying to blend in here, so busting our your swords and magic might not be what you wanna do... but also who cares when it's just you, an empty alleyway, and the not-so-dead. Tire irons are a classic, also kitchen knives, but it's important to remember: anything's a weapon if you can throw it hard enough.

And finally, lesson three — [ there isn't an infographic for this one. this time it's just lance, staring straight into the camera, the mood of the video suddenly quite serious and somber. ] — this is all real.

[ he shifts a little, uneasy. ]

I know the mission's primary objective is to contain this thing, keep it from spreading. And we should definitely do all we can to make sure it affects as few people as possible... but these are real people, you know? Real people, with real lives... real families. None of our objectives are for finding a cure, but man do we have some real smart people on this team. Real smart. And, like, magic, you know? Magic and science and all that stuff, from all over the universes. If you have that many people, from all these different backgrounds, with all these different skills then it has to be possible, right? That's just... that's math. So with magic and science and math on our sides, there's no way we can fail.

[ he got away from his point a little, so he backtracks into it. ]

What I'm saying is — be careful. Do what you gotta do, but if there's a way for you to save them so we can one day cure them, then... do that too. [ the please goes unspoken, but the sentiment is definitely there.

after a moment, he seems to bolster himself back up to the energy he'd had when he began. ]

And that's it! Questions? Thoughts? Apples for the teacher? [ ;D ]

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[ he bristles visibly. ]

Hey hey — a coward can make use of any weapon, thanks!

[ you leave his space rifle alone, achilles... ]

Anyway, baseball's this old sport back where I come from, but the sport itself isn't really that important. The important thing is that is uses a bat.

[ he holds his hands out, grasping at something thick in mid-air, and cocking his elbows back into a perfect batting form. ]

Basically a long, wooden thing that's somewhere between a log and a stick. It's pretty good for knocking people out. [ and cracking skulls open, but he's trying to avoid mass bloodshed here... ]

Then if the cloaking godcraft cast by those of ALASTAIR cannot disguise my spear, perhaps I should find in the bat a suitable enough weapon.

[Still his words are braced with reluctance.]

I suppose too that in this land to which we shall be sent, breastplate and greaves are not commonly donned by men, nor are shields held to stave off the strike of the enemy. How am I meant to protect myself naked of all armor? It is little wonder that these men live in fear, naked as they are too!

Well... I mean not necessarily. Depending on the cover story you choose, you could definitely get away with walking around in armor!

[ ... ]

Just. You know. A different kind.

[ kevlar, and the like. ]

What have you got worked out so far?

Reluctant as I am to assume a false life, I have not yet woven together the details with great care. I know only that I shall seek lodgings with Patroclus, the gallant son of Menoetius, foremost in my heart of all my friends, as this is what seems natural to me. Moreover, I have claimed bright-eyed Sieglinde for my daughter. She tells me that she shall be a student of medicine.

[Then comes a pause.]

More than this, I am uncertain. I am told that I might find suitable work at a "gymnasium," but in such matters I have little experience - although with my might and main, the best of all the Achaeans, sport is a pursuit in which I excel.

[ yeah he has no idea who those people are but you do you, man. ]

Smart idea keeping to a family unit — that seems to be the easiest way to keep a group together.

[ so an A on that front, sir. ]

As for the gym, I can definitely see you as some kind of personal trainer, but that involves a lot of... [ ah. how does he politely say "interaction" without implying that that is probably something achilles should avoid. ]

...Have you thought about the theater?

The theater, you say?

[His countenance turns thoughtful.]

This is the place in which bards peddle their tales, is it not? It is true enough that the Achaeans delight in the tales of heroes and their worthy deeds in war, of the gods and the quarrels they keep and the lovers with whom they lie - but although I pluck the lyre's strings to draw forth its sweet song, I much prefer to be the hero whom the bard praises.

[A small sigh follows.]

Nevertheless, the cloak of a common man is far easier to hide in, this I know.

[ "that's subjective," lance is very close to pointing out, but he holds his tongue. somehow, he's finding it a lot easier to do that when his conversation partner is the one taking control of the reins.

it's just so very often that they aren't. ]

Fair enough... You'll probably be fine then, dude, don't worry about it. If all else fails, and they give you the stink-eye, then just tell them you're not from around the area.

Is it truly so common that strangers should settle in this land and raise houses of their own? For what reason would we have left our dear native land to come to this one whose ways match not our own? My heart once clamored for the chance to sail forth and seize glory in far-off lands, this is true, yet I can scarce imagine that any man who leaves behind his home in the wake of his ship would not yearn to someday aim his prow toward those familiar shores once more.

People leave their homes and settle in other places for all kinds of reasons. Freedom, opportunity, a new chance to start over... Even sometimes just the hope of it.

And, yeah, sometimes you get homesick, because the water isn't the same as you remember it to be, or the sky doesn't rain like you're used to... But then you remember that home is what you make it. Sometimes even who you make it.

Just because you left it behind physically, doesn't mean you can't take the important stuff with you.

[ unless, of course, you had no choice in leaving those behind...

but that's a different matter altogether. ]

Although you are young yet, you speak well and with reason. More than ten years have passed since last I saw the fertile plains of Phthia, that land I cherish for there stands my father's noble house, yet while I had by my side my loyal companion, my heartsickness was assuaged. Now too he has returned to my side as we venture forth to this strange new land, and so with me I shall have a constant reminder of where truly lies my home.

[Without such a reminder, he knows not if he could tolerate a mission that requires that he cast away his identity.]

Perhaps a war tore asunder our fatherland, thus forcing us to flee - but I would not wish to be taken for cowards or conquered men. Drought and famine may make a better story then - none would have trouble believing that the gods could be so fickle of temper as to abandon our fields for some slight or another.

Uh.. yeah! Greener pastures, and all that. [ this time literally. ] Don't worry, I don't think you'll get many questions about that. If this America is anything like my America, it's basically known for drawing in people who are seeking better opportunities.

Then so be it. What matter presses upon me more urgently is that of this disease that crouches within men's flesh as a lion crouches in wait. Can no cure truly be found? What then shall become of those who succumb to its spread, if neither salve nor tincture might soothe?

[He thinks first of those whom he holds dear, but well does he know that if any among this crew contracts the insidious plague, it becomes all the more likely that so too shall his friends submit.]

We're working on it. Just because ALASTAIR didn't really make mention of a cure doesn't mean it doesn't — or won't — exist. So long as everyone focuses, and does what they can to help everyone else out, and pick up the slack for those that have to work even harder to find the cure, then we'll be fine.

So long as we actually work like a team, then I don't think there's anything we can't do.

[There comes a pause longer than would be natural in light conversation, but not so long that it stretches endlessly, as he considers Lances emphasis on the word team.]

There are those among this crew who have spat upon my honor and the ways of my fatherland...but so too are there those whom I love dearly, and for their sake I shall not sit idle while this plague ravages the population. I am learned in the art of medicine, taught as I was by Chiron in the days of my boyhood - perhaps then I might lend my knowledge to the cause of curing this disease.

Yet I would suggest too that we learn what gods watch over this land, that we might offer supplication and thus earn their favor. The protection of the gods, after all, is far greater than that of mortal man.

[ groans don't make me have to drudge up why lance wasn't around for that whole debacle

but okay fine i guess lance vaguely recalls there being some... hubbub over the network some time again in perdition's rest. he had been undergoing some trauma of his own around that time, let's say, despite a certain someone dropping certain rp balls.

in any case i'm gonna be blatantly ooc here and just skip over that team comment bc do we really need to get into this again... no one needs this. ]

If this place is really that much of a mirror of my world then... there isn't really just one set of gods? None that are visible, anyway.

[Look, he admits that helping the cause protects his own interests and thus he shall not stay idle. He may not be exalting the righteousness of teamwork, but nor is he digging his heels into the sand and turning his back on the company. This ought to be counted among your blessings, Lance.]

Very well, then we must learn of each of these myriad hosts of gods. What matters it if they reveal themselves before us or not? The gods choose when man may gaze upon them, but they pass most of their time hidden from mortal eyes or in disguise such that they may walk among us unseen. Still we must honor the deathless gods with appropriate supplication as if they stand before us in all their shining glory.

[A pause, as if he has not considered this yet.]

Or is this not the way of this country to which we must go?

[ lance's smile wanes a little. ]

Honestly? I'm not too sure. We can always visit the library, or any of the churches or temples once we get there. [ lance isn't really a religious person himself, but his abuela was raised roman catholic, and last he heard, their god doesn't really do the sacrificial thing anymore. ]

But praying's never hurt anyone, so I don't see why we can't give it a go!

Very well - then to the temples of this city I shall go, that I may learn how we might secure the gods' benison.

[He is of an era, after all, in which plague is attributed to the displeasure of the gods. Thus it is crucial that such divine rage be appeased.]

You have given me much to consider, young Lance, ere we are cast to this land ravaged by ill fortune.

[ lance puffs up a little, feeling quite proud of himself. this whole broadcast had been something of a whim, in all honesty, maybe even a somewhat desperate attempt to feel like he's doing something...

so to hear that it's actually beneficial for others? dang if that doesn't feel real, real good. ]

Anytime, man.

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