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video | username: xXx_trueblue_xXx

[ with the new mission on the horizon, and a rather desperate need to keep busy and distracted, lance has decided to put together this informational psa for all those who may benefit from it.

so. like. maybe two of you. ]

Yo! So with Woodhurst coming 'round the corner, many of you probably haven't had the chance to brush up on all six films of the Brawn of the Dead series but that's okay! Your resident Zombie Apocalypse Expert is here to help you out.

[ he's watched pretty much all the zombie films available on earth, ok, he's practically a PhD. ]

While it's pretty much impossible to gain my level of expertise in the single week we have left, I managed to break down the most important things to remember during a Zombie Apocalypse. [ complete with handy, dandy infographics! (blame whoever got them the drawing app ok.) ]

Lesson one! The buddy system.

ALASTAIR's got it right with their advice. Anyone who's ever seen a movie about characters being hunted by something can tell you right off the bat that the second you decide to go solo? YA DEAD. Total rookie mistake! Don't do it, don't even think about it, don't even think about thinking about it. Doesn't matter how slow the zombies are, or how many of them there are. Always have a buddy with you. And honestly? You're not gonna wanna go through any of this alone anyway.

If no one's coming to mind, just give me a call. My name's Lance, and I'm gonna be a college student there, and those guys never need reasons to be anyplace weird anyway.

Lesson two! Weapons.

Standard zombie movie weapons tend to be something light, hand-held, easy to hook onto your belt or carry around in a bag. Guns are okay, but unless you have unlimited ammo, it's a better idea to also have something that doesn't need replenishing. But remember we're also trying to blend in here, so busting our your swords and magic might not be what you wanna do... but also who cares when it's just you, an empty alleyway, and the not-so-dead. Tire irons are a classic, also kitchen knives, but it's important to remember: anything's a weapon if you can throw it hard enough.

And finally, lesson three — [ there isn't an infographic for this one. this time it's just lance, staring straight into the camera, the mood of the video suddenly quite serious and somber. ] — this is all real.

[ he shifts a little, uneasy. ]

I know the mission's primary objective is to contain this thing, keep it from spreading. And we should definitely do all we can to make sure it affects as few people as possible... but these are real people, you know? Real people, with real lives... real families. None of our objectives are for finding a cure, but man do we have some real smart people on this team. Real smart. And, like, magic, you know? Magic and science and all that stuff, from all over the universes. If you have that many people, from all these different backgrounds, with all these different skills then it has to be possible, right? That's just... that's math. So with magic and science and math on our sides, there's no way we can fail.

[ he got away from his point a little, so he backtracks into it. ]

What I'm saying is — be careful. Do what you gotta do, but if there's a way for you to save them so we can one day cure them, then... do that too. [ the please goes unspoken, but the sentiment is definitely there.

after a moment, he seems to bolster himself back up to the energy he'd had when he began. ]

And that's it! Questions? Thoughts? Apples for the teacher? [ ;D ]

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[ head out of gutter homie... ]

Ah, of course. I would also recommend blades rather than guns, as dismemberment of zombies offers more chance of survival... though that is obviously on a case by case basis. [ sweats ] It may only be necessary later on if things get out of hand.

[ you put it there???? ]

Yeah, but blades mean you're at a greater risk of getting too close. Also, there's no way to know for sure if dismemberment is gonna stop these guys. [ if they're that mindless and hungry... ] Our best best is something to knock them out cold.

[ not about threesomes?!?!? ]

That is true as well. There are many here who are quick enough to avoid a bite though, I think. [ A beat, then: ] I saw that mentioned... and while I can make something to knock them out like a tranquiliser as someone said, it may make it difficult on the research side. I did make something similar back at Perdition's Rest.

[ still brought up the booty ]

Many, but not all. [ some are plain humans... some are children... ]

Hey, it can't hurt to try. Does it take you very long to make?

[ sweats ]

Not all, no. I have good aim and am learning how to use a blade, but I am not quick enough to dodge that well.

[ She takes a deep breath. ]

It does not, and being in the medical sector there will give me access to the supplies. The ingredients are heavily frowned upon in society, however.

Heavily frowned upon? What do you mean?

It may be best if I do not say. [ She pauses. ] But the recipient will be knocked out, confused and unable to use their limbs as well as normal which would be to our advantage if we need to move them to a safer space.

Sonia...

If it's dangerous, then maybe you shouldn't be messing with it.

That is not what I mean. [ She ends up lowering her gaze. ] These drugs are typically used to abduct someone. That is why...

[ Abduction or other horrible things anyway. ]

[ ah. ]

I mean... that's pretty much what we'd be doing, anyway. [ abducting. containing. ] But, with any luck, none of it will be permanent.

Nor would it be a first time. It worked on the deemers when I was working with Keith so it should... work here as well. I will just adjust the dosage to make it more suitable.

[ A beat, then: ] If someone can get tranquiliser darts, it should work in those as well. We used syringes in Perdition's Rest.

Tranquilizer darts, huh?

[ where would you even get those in 1990's suburbia... ]

I'll see if I can think of something. If nothing else, syringes can work too. We can try and equip everyone with a couple that they can just carry around for safety.

Hmm. It may be possible that someone on the team could make them, given the materials and instructions.

[ A beat, then: ] But they would also need to fit a gun specifically for them as well. It may be that those working in the police will have access but it is impossible to say at the moment. Syringes, at least, I will have access to.

I.. know someone who can manipulate metal??? But we'd still need the glass...

Syringes seem to be our best bet for now. How soon do you think you'll be able to make them once we get there? I can offer some help but science was never really my strong suit...

We'd need a torch to shape the glass as well, so syringes may be the only option.

[ A beat, then: ] Considering I would be stealing, you could watch the door?

[ lance had just gotten on loki's case about looting, but loki pointed out that some evils were a little necessary in the grand scheme of things. so he doesn't hesitate to offer his help this time. ]

Hey, for sure! I'm real good at sneaking around and being the look out.

[ It's true... in this case there are few ways to get the materials. It's very suspicious for someone to order syringes, especially someone from another country. They might think she's trying to start up a drug ring who knows. ]

Thank you. I am sure if we work together our plan will be flawless.

[ look all you gotta do is forge a local doctor's note or smth it's fine it's fine... ]

Me and you, Son, we got this.

[ True, they won't know if she's diabetic or not 8);; ]

Fo' Sho'! I shall contact you once we arrive and I know the situation regarding supplies.

[ yeah see... 8');;; ]

Hohyeah, these Woodhurst peeps won't know what hit 'em!

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