text; un: shitpost king

[hedonistic]

sup nerds
sorry to interrupt everyone's doom and gloom party over here, but with the whole zombie apocalypse thing going down outside, there's about 90% less shit to actually do and i'm super fucking bored, so

let's play never have i ever

which, if ur one of the stone age people, goes like this:
u post something u have never done
other people reply
threadjacking is encouraged
if u ever did the thing u gotta post urself taking a sip of booze of ur choice
(or u can just go honor system i guess if u want, i'm not the boss of u)

if ur like a tiny baby or are a lame person who doesn't drink u can have water or soda instead
the challenge for u is to avoid peeing as long as possible

so i'll start us off

never have i ever....had an urge to chomp on human flesh (◡‿◡✿)





(no i'm kidding. i'm kidding, that's not the real one. u can put down ur torches and pitchforks lmao)



ok here's the real real one: never have i ever been on a roller coaster

Comments

audio; un: sharpshooter

[endeudado]

Seriously? That can't possibly be true.

[fateality]

Never have I ever lied in my entire life.

[endeudado]

[ attached is a vid of Jesper taking a shot. ]

Alright, you're on. Never have I ever done a magic trick.

[fateality]

Never have I ever controlled metal.

[are you hoping he's going to show he's drinking? that's not happening. it's all text, baby.]

[endeudado]

[ Rude. Very rude. Jesper takes another shot. Though maybe he'll switch to something lighter if that's how it's gonna be. ]

Never have I ever impersonated a guy and posted on the network.

[ Yes, Jesper was there. Watching. ]

And there's no way you've never told a lie, you'd better be drinking, old man.

[fateality]

Never have I ever had a drink in my life!

[in case it wasn't obvious he is definitely lying all over the place]

[endeudado]

[ Jesper lets out a huff. Ok, he sees your game, old man. ]

Never have I ever blinked, then.

[fateality]

Damn, how do you keep those peepers moist?

Never have I ever needed to breathe.

[endeudado]

It's a hard life, what can I say.

[ he's suddenly glad he went audio for this because there's no way he's drinking at these... ]

Never have I ever needed to eat.

[hedonistic]

No way. You're totally cheating by lying right now, aren't you. [He points, accusingly, though he's still grinning.] Fess up!!

[fateality]

I never bluff.

[fourscores]

[Is this call out TF day.]

Your posters say otherwise.

[fateality]

Those posters also get my nose wrong.

[fourscores]

Somehow I imagine they're more concerned about the reasons you're wanted than drawing you correctly. Though I will admit that is a shame.

[fateality]

I'd think having a majestic nose is a perfectly good reason to be wanted.

[hedonistic]

--Wait, like a wanted poster?

[There are worlds that still DO that?]

I've only ever seen those in old movies.

[fourscores]

Yes, like wanted posters. Fate has a lot of them back home.

[hedonistic]

They don't do those anymore, back home. It'd "stress people out" or some stupid crap like that.

[The airquotes are practically palpable there.]

[feytality]

He has POSTERS?

[fourscores]

Yes, back home.

[feytality]

Like... bounty on his head, wild west style posters? That's so cool!

[maya no]

[hedonistic]

Never have I ever bluffed about bluffing!

[fateality]

Never have I ever bluffed about bluffing in regard to bluffing in order to bluff.

[hedonistic]

never have i ever denied bluffing about bluffing when asked about bluffing in order to bluff

[fateality]

Never have I ever been accused of bluffing before. Blasphemy, really.