text || un: Q♥EEN

[cassieology]

hello my little sibs!! i'm afraid i have some bad news o(╥﹏╥)o

as u know our dearest oska is typically invisible to the bad guys!! this usually works out super well and in fact it still does but ... BUT (∩︵∩)

OK so

remember those slug people you brought back from your last mission?? the people with slugs in their heads i guess that is more accurate and sensitive. we managed to save a lot of them (▰˘◡˘▰) and that's good!! but then, before we finished, some of them got out!! and that's bad. they just slipped right out of our hands, like slippery fish

or ... slimy slugs ◔_◔

so they got free before their heads got fixed and THEN THEY WENT ON A RAMPAGE ヾ(ﾟдﾟ)ﾉ

long story short: cloaking devices disabled from the inside!! reinforcements called!! chaos!! madness!! lots of fighting for like,, the past week

(seriously it's been sooo bad lmao)

and, well, we need help! initially we shut it all down so that these nasty zymandis slugs couldn't call for more fucking backup AND so we could give the other teams a proper warning (like this one, lol) before we let you in again

so get your knives out or your spells or your swords or whatever cool thing you have in your armory bc it's time to kick some ass ᕙ(⇀‸↼)ᕗ

(mostly robot ass)

(but still)

we'll call you in soon, so finish up with all those cute kitties and get ready to roll out!!

CASSIE, OVER (►.◄)

Comments

[moneyballer]

sleep farting is tOTALLY NORMAL, OK

EVERYBODY DOES IT

[jesus christ]

[feytality]

what

[moneyballer]

[lasjlkfajsdljaslkdf;asldfhasdhfkajshdfkajshdfkajshdfkjashdfkjh??????!!!!!!11111]

nothing

[feytality]

ew

[moneyballer]

[that feel when u sabotage ur own kawaii welcum message by being a gross piece of shit]

plz don't tell anybody

[THIS IS PUBLIC FOR THE ENTIRE NETWORK TO SEE???]

[feytality]

[I didn't realize those other two were gagtags]

ummm

ok i guess

your weird farting secret is safe with me

just don't fart on jin

[moneyballer]

[he has already, but that doesn't make her point any less valid]

thank u

not here

[pummelling]

[somewhere on the fields of battle in the skaultan highlands

kung "hiatus mission" jin sneezes.]

[moneyballer]

[tru luv is still being able to care for a man who farts in his sleep and burps constantly]

[feytality]

and get it under control!!!! that's really unromantic u know


i mean i know you guys are both dudes but

it's gross

[moneyballer]

yes ma'am

[he knows ur right girl]

[catphishing]

Not when you fart like you do.

[His couch will never be the same again.]

[moneyballer]

wait, how do u kno

[asher THINK before you send any stupid texts-]

did i sleep with u 2?

[screams loudly]

[catphishing]

[Gross.......]

No, but you've got plenty intimate with my couch.

[moneyballer]

wait so i started dry humpin ur couch

[how could that possibly be your idea of the most rational interpretation of that sentence-]

how drunk was i

[catphishing]

What? No.

[He hopes...]

You just passed out on it a bunch of times.

[moneyballer]

[...There's an odd little chill down the back of his spine, as though there's something missing from this little equation.

Surely, that's just because Asher hasn't actually lived through it yet.

Right?]

oh

[What does one say, when the circumstances are still largely unknown?]

thanks

[For letting him into your home more than once.

He knows that he is not the most pleasant house guest, especially when inebriated.]

[catphishing]

You're welcome.

[It's not like he was the one who let him, but somehow he gets the idea it might be better not to point that out to Asher now. Their friendship is tentative enough without bringing up the resentment Oliver had felt at the time.]

[moneyballer]

[And that is why Oliver's behavior is both confusing and unpleasant. Somehow, Asher seems to find himself the target of Oliver's bitterness, that and the older man's desperation to cling to something familiar.

It is a weight he is still not quite sure about bearing, but at the very least, he will try.]

is that how i get 2 kno ya?

[He has yet to discover that Oliver was once Connor's boyfriend.]

[feytality]

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW



[the fart plot thickens]

[catphishing]

Just don't let him fall asleep near you and you'll be fine.

[Or at least slightly better...]

[feytality]

i think we need a quarantine at this point

[catphishing]

That would probably be better for everyone.

[feytality]

or gas masks???

[catphishing]

Definitely quarantine.

[Harsh...]