video; username: 82736775

[ricksybusiness]

[The video is carefully cropped so 82736775's face isn't visible, focused at chest-level. A chest that is clothed in a nebulously green fabric, incidentally (it's a dinosaur kigurumi).]

Hey, what up. So a-a-apparently nobody else is sick of sitting around and waiting for fake impossible "magic answers" to land in our lap with respect to our job. Remember that thing we're supposed to be doing? About the freakin' endless darkness plaguing this world? Yeah.

[His hands come into frame, holding a beat-up metal tube with a bunch of science-looking shit stuck to it, like some lights and buttons and stuff. Maybe there are some exposed wires but don't pay any attention to that.]

This... is a telescope. I'm showing it to you in case you come from a world where they're called something dumb. Like a sky-tube or something, I dunno. Just trying to mitigate stuUUuuurr-- stupid questions.

I have an ass-load of these things and I can make more. If you're wondering how, the answer is I'm a genius. [He lowers the telescope.] They're all hooked up to my, uh... something I have; th-th-that -- that's not important. The point is, I need volunteers to take these things out to the highest vantage points around, aim them at the sky, and take readings.

[One finger goes up.] First, if you don't know how to look through one end of a thing and listen for beeps, you're too stupid to use these so don't even ask. Go hit some shit with rocks, that's pr-probably more your speed.

[A second finger goes up.] Don't use them to be peeping toms. This is science, not an excuse to be a gross purrrrr-- perv.

[A third finger goes up.] This all needs to be at the same time. In a few days, the sky should be clear enough for a decent reading across the b-- urrrp -- board.

Serious inquiries only. I'm not here to dick around. Name a place and I'll drop off the machine.

[The hand throws up the sign of the horns before the video ends.] I'm out.

[ click here for ooc sign-ups! ]

Comments

video; username: Tohsaka Rin

[defenceless]

Magic isn't fake.

[yeah, that's... that's what she chooses to comment with first.]

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

Whatever. I'm just saying, I'm not going to accept some Poindexter just "magicking the sun away" because that's stupid. Anything you call "magic" has to have a scientific explanation.

video; un: deathweaver

[respired]

[Oh, he remembers this guy. From the woods.]

I will assist you. Leave it with the boarding house. Krozm.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[Don't blow his cover, guy, he doesn't trust everyone who may or may not have access to this thing.]

Word. [At least he was to the point; that's appreciated.] It'll be at the front desk in a sec.

video; username: scastellanos

[agonybolt]

Finally.

Tell me when and where.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

Up to you, pal. Delivery only. I don't do pick-ups.

video | un: dark rescue

[promises_to_keep]

[Lea looks a little dubious, but... this actually sounds kind of interesting.]

Highest vantage point, huh? Sounds like my kind'a errand. Sure, sign me up. I'm at the Abel.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[Whatever! If people want to be suspicious, that's hardly his problem.]

Cool. Where do you want to meet?

video;

[runningjoke]

YOU!

You have...

[ The same kigurumi as her.

Yeah, this was important. ]

Just tell me where I can get it from you. I'm not letting you know where I live.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[Oh, that's what she looks like. And... sounds like... jesus christ. Well, she's close enough to Pearl in appearance that Rick can buy them being the same species. Humanoid, gemstone in the forehead, sure.]

Uh, I don't care where you live. Just give me a place to meet.

username: michaelis (audio)

[cutlery]

Ah, here we are. This seems to be quite a bit more productive, so thank you, sir.

[ Sebastian does sound quite genuinely pleased, and as he continues, even a little cheerful. After all, he does love technology, so this definitely has a bit more interest to him as a result. ]

It would be my pleasure to assist. I am staying in a room above the apothecary, but I can also come meet you in a particular location if that is more convenient.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[Gratitude is nice! You will go far with Rick if you show gratitude.]

Nah, that's cool. What is that, human side of town?

voice | un: archer

[anti_altruisms]

I see you've been productive.

[ He's pleasantly surprised. ]

Anywhere that's convenient for you is convenient for me.

[ Literally, he can be anywhere in a short amount of time. ]

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[DITTO, tho, so this might just be a standstill.] Nah, I always let my, uh... clients pick a spot. That's just how I urrrp -- roll.

video;

[evenslimmer]

Why is it not important?

[ This supposed something he's got it all hooked up to. Because that sure sounds like it might be something important. Something that maybe could help get him in contact maybe with his dad or the Guardians or somebody. (If he could be so lucky to still be in the right universe.) ]

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

What? [He did a lot of talking, ok, you'll need to be more specific.]

audio; un: shiro

[foodmooching]

I'd like to offer my help. How many readings will be needed from each of us?

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

Goooood question. Depends how many people actually volunteer, and how many of those actually do theiurrrr j-job.

Probably just keep it pointed at the sky until you get bored. That's what I'd do.

UN: weapon_stories

[of_her_own_accord]

I must admit, from the sound of things I'm impressed you could even see straight enough to put a telescope together. I suppose you really can't judge a book by its cover.

I suppose we could offer our assistance.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[Rick bristles, his tone venomous.] If I wanted some moron's opinion, I would have asked for it. Keep your fucking comments to yourself.

voice, @taranto

[heavyhitter]

Oh, yeah, I'd help out with that. Quick question though — how would you know someone was being a peeping tom? Just wondering.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

Oh, y-yeah, that's not suspicious.

The data is being fed to me directly, so I'll know if you're looking at boobs or something.

video; username: julius

[viscontree]

This is a grave matter. Cooperation with others is a must.

Let me aid you for this operation. [It's the least he could do.]

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[lmao what. Rick barely knows how to respond to this.] Jesus christ, pal, this ain't Jane Austen. Take it down a notch.

1hitko; video

[unoradinary]

Sure, I'll help! Not like I had any ideas of my own anyway.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

That's kinda what I figured. [That nobody had any ideas, he means.]

Where do you wanna meet?

video; un: Hawke

[bougy]

Hey, hitting shit with rocks isn't too bad of an idea! ( although she seems sarcastic she actually isn't, just having fun with him. ) I'm familiar with the basic concept of a sky-tube, but I can't say I've ever used one before. I wouldn't mind keeping an eye out for those of us who're scoping out the heavens, though, in case anyone tries to sneak up on them.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

Oh. R-right, I forgot to mention that part... [One has to wonder precisely why his memory might not be the greatest... could it be how obviously drunk he is right now...]

If y-you wanna go look after the people most likely to get their ass beat, that'd be helpful.

video; username: shiki

[satsujinki]

I can help you lug supplies around in the meanwhile--and, I wouldn't mind taking part.

I'd actually like to see if there's any results firsthand, too.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

Sure, whatever, kid. [It's very possible Rick hasn't bothered to remember his name.] I'll save one of these bad boys for you.

video; ( un: pavus )

[underthings]

[ The sarcasm in his tone is so dry it could start a fire on its own. ]

You can't be much of a genius if you truly believe magic to be fake. [ He sighs, affecting boredom; ] However, seeing as you're actively taking steps to achieve something more than just theories, I would offer my hand in helping.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[Why do people keep harping on that point...

Rick doesn't bother with sarcasm, just digging in straight to irritation.] The moron who did whatever to the sun said it was "magic." The only reason I'm actively taking steps to do anythurrrring is because I'm smart enough to know magic is bullshit. Lick my balls.

Video | un: pearl

[beyourrock]

[Oh things are adding up now. That username she had spoken to before about birds, and that kiss during the holidays... That voice. Pearl cringes, about to snap at him but...

This looked promising.]

I wouldn't mind finding a scientific solution about this. Even if your telescopes could use a little... cosmetic work.

Count me in.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[Yeah, sorry bout it, Pearl. Rick is not super great at thinking about the comfort of others.]

Ohhh, sorry they aren't encrusted with fuckin' diamonds. You know what I had to work with? L-lay off.

audio | un: leonardo

[kamiizumi]

[God, he's like Harold Lillja only drunk and even more ornery, how is this possible.]

I'm in.

I'm staying at Krozm.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[HE WAS LITERALLY JUST THERE... goddammit.]

Ugh. Fine. Front desk or what?

video; username: axecerbic

[lumberpuncture]

[What the hell is this video]

And the reason you're not doing this yourself is...?

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

More volunteers means more telescopes can be manned simultaneously, which means a wider range of data is available for analysis. Duh.

audio; un: korra

[alphatar]

Sounds easy enough. Anything in particular we need to do when taking these readings?

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

Yeah, don't fall asleep.

[Rick may or may not have a very low opinion about the intelligence quotient around here.]

There's a display on the side you can monitor if you want to be useful; ping me if anything looks weird. If you don't know anything about space, just listen for the beeps and try not to break anything.

text. un: mr. kuulguy

[hideyourself]

do you have a working computer :D???

[genius or not, this place wasn't conducive to technology!! so maybe Hideyoshi's a little jealous, w/e, don't mind it, thanks for being productive, et cetra et cetra where was this data going.]

text;

[ricksybusiness]

Why? [Which probably answers the question, but he's suspicious. His mini-computer is valuable to him and he is not keen on the idea of someone stealing it to try and play Minecraft.]

audio | un: aqua

[keeper]

[ she'll ignore that first comment about 'fake impossible magic'... also, to a KHer that metal tube looks like 100% Legit Science!!! ]

Please allow me to assist. I should be able to access the high reaches of the city.

[ after a thoughtful pause, ] ...Do the telescopes need to remain perfectly still in order to obtain a reading?

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[Good because he is tired of people poking at that statement!!]

Uh, relatively speaking. Slow sweeps are best.

video; username: unknownrealms

[headlining]

[Someone approaching the magic situation logically? Keats has never been more happy to hear that.]

A scientific explanation to all this nonsense would be music to my ears. I'm more than happy to help out.

If you don't mind me asking, what are you hoping to find? I don't suppose you have any theories as of yet.

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

W-well, the sun has to be there. Obviously. [They'd be careening out of orbit without its gravitational pull, anyway.] What's making it dark is the real question.

video. un: G.SLQHV

[twinpeak]

[ Rick's face may not be on screen, but Dipper does recognize that voice. Given who it is, he's a bit more inclined to believe this has a chance of working, so— ]

—Oh, me! I want to help!

audio;

[ricksybusiness]

[At least he's enthusiastic! Rick appreciates this, given that half the people are giving him shit about irrelevant things.]

Baller. I already had one set aside for you, kid.