text; un: shitpost king

[hedonistic]

if anyone can tell me how to get videogames or proper internet on this thing i will do a dare of ur choice and let u record the results for posterity/blackmail/whatever u want

in the meantime i've got way too much time to kill so let's play would you rather

for those of you poor souls who've never known the glory of the internet, it goes like this: someone posts two things (the more ridic the better) and people respond with their decision on which they'd rather do and then come up with their own two things

it ends up with us all judging each other's life and choices and nobody lives happily ever after (◡‿◡✿)

i'll start with something appropriate to our upcoming ~mission~

would you rather...
be eaten by a zombie, or burnt at the stake?

Comments

[hedonistic]

nothing??? it's for fun dude

it's ok tho, i see now that ALASTAIR has an emergency shortage and u all need to conserve, i understand

i must be cutting severely into ur resources rn, no wonder everyone's so srs

pls forgive me for my sins

un: reika

[p66]

Kagari-san.

[ It's text so she can't give him the Mom Stare but hopefully it conveys???? ]

[hedonistic]

[HE RECOGNIZES THE TONE, he can picture Akane-chan giving him said stare just reading this comment. Not that it'll...help...]

heeeeeey reika-chan
u wanna play would u rather

[:')]

[p66]

Julius-san is trying to answer your question. It might be nice if you answer him clearly instead of making allusions.

[ She's fine with getting trolled but no laying a finger on her taichou ]

[hedonistic]

reika-chaaaaan
i know ur trying to be a model citizen and aid the conservation efforts but it's ok i promise
i'm sure julius-san will let u use his share of the humor supply

[ALL Y'ALL NEED TO CHILLAX. It's just a game???]

[p66]

[ To be fair, it took her 2 minutes to figure out what he was trying to say. ]

It's funny when we get the joke, but getting there isn't always instantaneous.

[hedonistic]

i mean originally i wasn't even making a joke, just playing a game
it wasn't actually a serious question

[p66]

You talked at length about the 'fun supply' which was a little confusing.

It's a humorous way to talk about lightheartedness, isn't it?

[hedonistic]

[this got weirdly realer than he was prepared for and it is harshing his buzz, man]

yeah
he asked why i was asking
like i actually was looking for a real answer
actually pretty much everyone took it seriously
which is p weird, ngl

[p66]

Were you looking for a real answer?

We are a mission team, after all. I don't think talking about death as a joke is something that crosses our minds.

[ People died. ]

[hedonistic]

not really
i mean u could answer with whatever, but it was just u kno
a hypothetical
it's not like there aren't a billion zombie apocalypse stories in fiction

[viscontree]

Pardon me, I don't have a good sense of humor.

Is this the usual thing people do for fun in your world?

[He's too serious business for his own good, it's true. Kagari, seems like the complete opposite though.]

[hedonistic]

"the" usual? no
"a" usual?
y



dw tho, ur apparently ur in good company
maybe gino-san should've gotten rift'd instead of me
he'd fit right in

[This text sounds so bitter and its not even like, more than 'resting bitch face' level pissiness rn, i'm sorry Julius]

[viscontree]

Maybe so. We always seem to be short handed one way or another.

Although, I'd prefer it if more people didn't get involved. Do you want Gino here?

[Rip in pieces....!! He's having a difficult time understanding all this short hand text. The message is half lost to Julius either way. ]

[hedonistic]

[HUFF what kind of question!! is that!!!

one Kagari would've preferred not to think about, that can be for certain. Of all the members of Division One, Ginoza would be the most likely to interfere with what little freedom ending up here has afforded him. And yet...he does miss them. Akane-chan, Kou-chan, Pops, Sensei, Kunicchi...Gino-san, too.

Well. He's just going to dodge right around that question because hahaha what's being vulnerable on the public network, fuck that.]

...it was a joke
i was making a joke about him being uptight

[is he going to have to keep explaining his jokes, why this]

[viscontree]

[Possibly...yes. He's got such a terrible sense of humor it's not even worth saving. ]

I can tell that I'm going to have a hard time dealing with these 'jokes' you make.

Is the username 'shitpost king' another joke of yours?



[No really is it?]

1/3

[hedonistic]

[omfg]

[hedonistic]

no i'm really a king
i rule over the old and venerable land of shitpostia
we have the highest export rate of dank memes in the multiverse and our national anthem is the rickroll

[hedonistic]

we're the number one consumer of sarcasm, too
it's what like, 90% of our taxes go toward

[viscontree]

Oh really then? You must come from an interesting world. Not that I believe what you're saying is entirely true...for that matter.

What's a rickroll?

[Is this supposed to be a theme of some sort?]

[hedonistic]

oh my god dude
it was literally right there
i was being sarcastic
"number one consumer of sarcasm"??? that's not a thing? you can buy??

[This is so tragic. Trolling someone isn't nearly funny if they can't even understand they're being trolled....]

yes my un is a joke
literally right now i just shitposted at you
someone get this man a funny bone operation



(that's also a joke)

(i'm not actually implying that anyone should operate on you)

(seriously, is this like a tone in text problem or do u suck at this irl too)

also i literally can't explain a rickroll to u bc it would ruin the magic
i'll show u sometime

[viscontree]

This is my first time seeing messages that were so eccentric. [He's also not good at this, it's true.]

My apologies. You'd show it to me sometime? I'll look forward to it.

[Dude's clueless as ever, sorry Kagari.]

[not here]

[p66]

[ this is why she was crying over you two texting each other ]

[not here]

[viscontree]

[It's too late for regrets]

[not here]

[p66]

[ why are both of you like this!!! ]